We spent a pleasant winter break in England trying to work out how logistics would work this year as we no longer had our comfort blanket (the yacht). We did have the offer of a large motorhome; however, considering the entrance to our property, it wasn’t viable. We decided that we should have a VW campervan and started perusing Autotrader, EBay and Gumtree. We both knew that a split windscreen would be out of our price range and decided that a bay window was probably the version for us. We went to have a look at one but I didn’t get the feeling that I expected, so being sensible, for a change, we decided that perhaps we should have a look at newer models. We found a place in County Durham that had several newly converted vans and found the one we wanted – Winse (so named because part of the numberplate is WNS – sad, I know!!) She is an older T4 van but with a brand new conversion.
Not having a great deal to do Steve spent a fair amount of time browsing the internet. He found a wood-burner on Gumtree – at least we’d have some heat!, a garage/workshop (thick plastic cover and sturdy metal poles) – somewhere to store everything that was currently in the garage building so that we could get on with the roofing on that, and decided that we should also get a tent – mainly for storage but also probably somewhere to sleep in the summer. We made the trip to Go Outdoors and purchased a rather flash 8 man tent and a toilet – we didn’t want a chemical one so decided on a composting one. It felt comical the two of us trying out toilets of the ‘bucket and chuck it’ variety in the middle of the store!
On 22nd January, after short visits with the parents, we set off back to France. An early morning ferry from Poole to Cherbourg meant that we should arrive at the property in daylight. By this time I was getting a little nervous as to what would be there to greet us – visions of my repaired walls in ruins and a large elephant mouse in the storage shed having eaten his way through all our belongings to name but two of my biggest fears.
With a short stop at a supermarket for essentials – water and wine – we arrived in Kerio as darkness was falling. A quick check of the building showed that everything was exactly as we had left it with the exception of the water butts which were now full!
We spent the first few days setting up the tent and garage and moving our belongings from the storage shed into the tent – it appeared that we had created our very own ‘jungle’. Our new purchases combined with the trailer tent tool store and tarpaulin covered straw bales was very reminiscent of Calais in the not too distant past. The temporarily located wood-burner also added its smoke to the atmosphere!
It took a few days to settle and organise ourselves. We had got a Campingaz bottle from Steve’s dad that had a little bit of gas in but that was reserved for coffee making so if we wanted to eat anything hot (and after three nights of cheese and biscuits, it was about time) we needed to get a new gas contract set up. The last time I had had to do this was back in Ouistreham, where we had the added ‘excitement’ of trying to get the right regulator. This time would be easier – we now have a French address and the gas company we had chosen were giving away a free regulator with every contract – perfect, job done! Having kept the kitchen (sink and two gas rings) from the trailer tent we set up our indoor, outdoor kitchen. Our first hot meal was minestrone stew – chunkier than the soup variety! I think Steve is resigning himself to eating an awful lot of vegetarian meals as with just the two rings it is more difficult to cook two completely different meals! We have had a few soups, leek and potato soup has become a firm favourite and we both agree that we actually now prefer the chunky version to the wizzed up one, lentil and chickpea curry with poppadums! – now we don’t have to worry about the boat rocking we can have deep-fried food!, and another rarely eaten on the boat meal – egg and chips!! Ok, the eggs were hardboiled (much easier than poaching or frying!) and the meal was not as good as anticipated as the potatoes (specifically marked as good for frites) are not good for chips!!. Having the wood-burner has proved a godsend. Not only has it given Steve the opportunity to sing Kumbyah (although he has yet to purchase a guitar!!) but has also meant we can cook proper jacket potatoes – carefully wrapped in foil and placed in the fire. I think perhaps it may take a while to perfect cooking time as our first attempt resulted in three perfectly cooked potatoes and something that more resembled a charcoal briquette! I wasn’t brave enough to attempt to eat it!
The ground here was in better condition than expected, given the amount of water collected, but continued driving on the drive was going to create a mudbath so we decided we needed to spend a bit of money and get some gravel. On our bus journeys we had spotted a small distributor which was not far away, so we paid a visit and arranged a delivery. Once again my French didn’t let me down and we came away with a ‘devis’ (quote) and a promise that it would be delivered either that afternoon or the following day with cash payment on delivery. A lot of small businesses here seem to only accept cheques or cash and as we don’t have a French bank account yet cash is our only option. M. Cosse advised that he would call us before delivery and he very patiently wrote down my phone number, surprised at the number of digits and with raised eyebrows asked if it would work, I assured him it would but just to be sure he rang me there and then, the look of surprise on his face was priceless!! We made a quick dash back to the property to prepare the drive ready for the delivery and hoped that it wouldn’t arrive too late in the day as we would have to move it off the road in the dark!! It wasn’t until we were back at the property that I thought about the lack of phone reception so I spent a lot of time wandering around the property finding spots where I could get a signal! After 4pm we relaxed knowing/hoping that it wouldn’t arrive that day. The next morning at 10 past 10 and with me standing right next to the phone it rang and a very nice man told me that he would be with us within 20 minutes and true enough 20 minutes later five tonnes of gravillion bleu 10-14mm had been deposited on the drive. Time for the shovel, rake and wheelbarrow. As usual, Steve had over-ordered but that was fine as we were able to cover the muddy verge at the front of the property as well. The drive is still a little high but we will get round to moving it at some point. Amazingly no vehicles came past whilst we were moving the gravel – although the next day it suddenly became the busiest thoroughfare I have seen – well, half a dozen vehicles anyway!!
We have now positioned the wood-burner into, what we hope will be, its final position. We made a rustic stone plinth base for it and Steve made a hole through the wall for the flue. We get a lot of smoke but I think that is because the wood we are burning is damp!!
It seemed like it was now the time for proper work to start – no more faffing around organising ourselves! I think it is a bit wet to start cobbing so have been allowed to join the woodworking crew! There is a little bit of work required inside the garage building before the corrugated iron comes off and the new wood goes on. Steve had already cut the four rafters required so all we had to do was measure, final cut and fit. I held the end of the tape measure and left Steve the unenviable task of reading the tape in the dark garage eave. He told me 233mm or 82 inches for one and 92 inches for the other. He did laugh at the disparity, saying how out of kilter the building was. He cut them both and we fitted the longer one – it was a bit tight to fit but using straps and strength(?) we got it in place. He then brought in the second piece and immediately said “that’s too short”. Apparently if you need glasses to read you need to actually wear them not just have them in your pocket – it should have been 92 inches and not 82. Oh well, we do need a brace so that piece won’t be wasted. However this meant he had to go and split another log for the other pair of rafters! So over the next few days we will have fitted the extra two rafters now awaiting roof removal before final fixing.
Steve had decided whilst fitting the first set of rafters that the friction on the beams would be adequate for him to rest his ladder against to pin the tops together. Whilst I was in the garage sanding down some bench slats (vide grenier purchase of a lovely cast iron ended hardwood slatted bench for 100 Euros – a real bargain, especially as we got an extra six slats!!) I did start to think that if Steve had a problem or accident it was highly unlikely I would hear him – I was using an electric sander which obviously runs off the petrol driven generator. A few minutes after this thought Steve popped his head in and said you must come and see this. And as I walked into the garage I saw the two rafters at an angle resting against the next set of rafters and the ladder at a weird angle. So it appears that friction cannot overcome gravity and thank goodness there was a set of rafters with a brace at a perfect height to stop the ladder from meeting the floor and our kitchen!! What a wally – but at least he didn’t hurt himself, not even his pride as he immediately had to point out his idiocy to me – another laugh-out-loud moment!!
Whilst working the other morning Monsieur G (the man we bought the property from) called by. He had come to perform his inspection. He was extremely pleased to see that we were using trees from the property (trees that he himself had planted thirty years ago) to build with. He had a beaming smile on his face and repeatedly said “Je suis content, je suis content” (I am happy, I am happy) which obviously made us extremely happy too!!
Fate Or Folly 