He Hates Wood! (But, It Don’t ‘Arf Look Good!)

Steve had spent a fair amount of time over the winter researching how to make the roof, even having borrowed a book from Mac – well the time had now come.  We have learnt a whole new vocabulary without really knowing what all the words mean!  To me they are usually all just bits of wood, occasionally beams and even more infrequently rafters and trusses!!  The majority of the work was Steve’s alone although there were times when he had to summon assistance – not that I was much use!

As usual Steve had over-engineered things.  We started with common rafters which were 3.5 metres long and at least 8” x 4” (yes he is still chopping and changing between metric and imperial measurements!)   Luckily cherry is not as heavy as oak and we also had some interim support arrangements from the existing frame. During this creation of rafters we discovered that the roof angle is not quite as we thought it was so this did require a bit of head-scratching with angles and alignment with the existing buildings and, guess what, nothing in this property is square!  However, we have managed to overcome!

We wanted to stay true to the original nature of the main building – so that meant using half trunks and pegged joints.  Steve made his first two pairs of common rafters and with some assistance from me (even up a ladder at times!?!) they were placed into position and once we were happy (well, happyish) with the angles, he pegged them.  He had one more common rafter to fit and then he had to create the ridge for the bit of the roof above the doors – no idea what that bit is called!  All his homework has obviously paid off as his cutout in the ridge slotted perfectly over the angled oak frame above the door – fitted like a glove!!  Then he proceeded to do a half joint to the single common rafter.  Next came the valley rafters.  There was certainly a lot of head-scratching with this: compound angles, round wood, square holes and, of course, his valley rafters were also different diameters.  After creating the first one Steve decided that he was going to do a mirror image for the second – I had no faith at all that this would work! He told me to press the ‘I believe’ button and surprise, surprise, Golden Bollocks was right!  So with the two valley rafters fitted we could then proceed to fit the horizontal bits which join all the rafters together.  This is when Steve had to actually do a bit of planking as we needed a combination of 4” x 2.5” thick and 4” x 3” to match the existing building and one of them was about 6” x 3”.  So, in between whittling pegs, cutting timbers, drilling holes in mid-air, the final pieces of the frame went together.  At this point we did have an inspection by the locals where they commented on the style being “old-school”.  So, now we await planks to finish the timber prior to fitting the tiles.

First Pair Of Rafters In Position
Braced And Pegged
This Makes Two
Second Ridge
Front On
Valley Rafters In Place
How Many Angles?
A Lightweight Frame?
From The Road
From The Wood
Yet More Wood
Temporary Roof Covering

Well, that is the majority of Steve’s work over the last month – we are pretty pleased with how it looks!!

As if Steve hasn’t been doing enough woodwork, we thought we might as well deal with the rotten wooden frame in the main building.  Having removed it in one piece, Steve was charged (by me) not to over-engineer the replacement but to ensure it was the same size and made in the same manner – surely having a template would help with this!!  So with his trusty chainsaw he went off down to the paddock to find some oak and he could actually carry back all four pieces of the frame in the wheelbarrow!  Two days later and the dry fit of the window met with success.  I can confirm that it is heavy – it has left quite a divot in my head!  We had a bit of a debate about the stick of oak in the middle as some properties we have seen had squared (as ours was) but some are stick-like and that is what Steve wanted so that is what we’ve got!

Is It A Flat-Pack?
New And Old

As there have been a few rain showers which interfered with my wall-fixing I turned to an indoor job – removing the interior walls of the main building.  I am getting quite good at swinging a sledgehammer now, although my body (especially my left elbow and hand) protested!

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Open-Plan House

As I forgot to add them last update, here are some photos of our straw being combined!!!

Hooray, Here’s The Combine
It Will Soon Be Mine!

And on a final note, an update on Steve’s grasp of the French language!  Our neighbour across the road very kindly cut the verge outside of our property for us one day.  We didn’t notice immediately so the next time we saw him we wanted to thank him.  Steve asked me what the French for verge was and I didn’t know, so in true Inspector Clouseau fashion, he decided to say, “Merci, pour le verge”, (focusing a French accent on the word verge) which we translated as “Thank you for the verge”.  Our neighbour was a fair distance away as Steve said it but seemed to understand and said “You’re welcome”.  But, me being me and with a slight niggle in my brain, I had to check out the translation.  Deciding to put ‘le verge’ into Google Translate from French to English, imagine my surprise that it actually means ‘penis’!!!!  What on earth must our neighbour have thought if, in fact, he actually heard Steve!!!  (Doing it the other way – English to French you get ‘le bord’!!)

Restoration Is Better Than Creation

It has been another busy month!  I have finally decided that I do enjoy stonework.  With the ex-front door/new window plinth completed, we decided that I should start to rebuild the stones at the base of the cob walls.  First came the preparation:  There had been some concrete repairs done at some point in the past so that had to come off/out and whilst doing this I discovered that the stump that had been growing through the building (which Steve had cut flush) was now a bit more accessible and hoped that Steve could remove it!  As expected he came to my rescue and it has now gone!!  I then had all the loose stones and cob to remove (along with any remaining weeds and roots) followed by investigation work into the largish holes in the walls – I only found a couple of old nests!  Next I needed an assortment of stones, which I created into one of my famous piles, to allow me to get going.  Of course, I wasn’t happy with just one pile of stones so I ended up with at least two out the front with me with trips round the back to the large stone pile to break up the monotony! As Steve was busy frame-making (separate update to follow shortly on that!) I was able to do things my way!! He only had to lift one large stone into place for me and I could use the existing stones as my guide.  Suddenly I discovered that I could, in fact, do this job quite well and it was easy enough to leave when I got the inevitable “Tree, can you give me a hand please”!  The main building took a week and I am extremely pleased with the result!

Then onto what was, in my mind, a major job – the ‘garage’ building.  This building had, in the past, been completely hidden by trees and bushes with a telegraph pole sited close to the building and we had been a little concerned how this would affect our repairs – but after clearing the area we discovered that it wasn’t going to cause an issue at all.  By now we had used the majority of our largest stones and were wondering how we would fill the void.  Steve decided to take a walk down the lane and came across a very large stone which he thought he could relocate (thus removing a hazard on the cycle route).  He also found another couple of large stones in the paddock and then, whilst cycling we spotted a beautiful stone in the middle of a field.  We both commented on what a perfect stone it was but felt that we couldn’t just go into the field and help ourselves – so with heavy heart we left it!  Then one day, the field was ploughed and miraculously the stone had been moved from the middle to the very edge of the field – they obviously didn’t want it and we were only too eager to give it a good home – so Steve loaded it onto my bike rack and I wobbled my way the couple of miles to the property!  One morning whilst working on the wall a chap went past in his van with a sheep in his trailer and he waved a cheery ‘bonjour’.  About twenty minutes later he appeared from the opposite direction and glided to a halt.  He jumped out of his van, greeted Steve and shook his hand and proceeded to explain that he had something in his van for us.  I was a bit dubious, thinking it might entail some part of an animal (especially as anything lamb-related is banned from the boat!) but he went round to the passenger door and hefted a large stone from the passenger seat!  He thought we might want it and said that if he came across any more he would leave them at the property.  What a lovely man!! He said he liked what we were doing and we have taken his donation as a real endorsement that we are doing something worthwhile!  The stone now has pride of place in-between the two telegraph poles and it fitted perfectly next to the field-rescue.

In France there doesn’t appear to be anything like a building inspector although that doesn’t mean we haven’t been subject to periodic inspections.  The local community, whilst promenading, do tend to stop quite frequently and inspect what we have been doing.  So far, all comments have been favourable (although our understanding of French may mean that we have only chosen to understand the favourable!!) but they do appear to be impressed with our progress and style and slightly concerned about our lack of electricity but pleased that we are using the traditional techniques.

The wall has now been completed and I am a little sad that I have no real stonework left to do!  We are now ready to start cobbing – just waiting on the straw, which has been cut but not yet baled!!

Measure Twice, Cut Once Then Repeat

Steve was happy again – back to working with wood!  He had the frame to make for the woodland side – the rear of the property but quite probably going to be our front door!  I was, supposedly, happy playing stone puzzles but had to encourage Steve to provide a little bit of assistance to me by making the replacement uprights for the existing front door (that will become a window).  Luckily the lintel is in good enough condition that we can keep it but both uprights are rotten.  We managed to remove both (well, Steve did as I declined to remove the peg in the second side!) and discovered that the mortise and tenon joints weren’t chiselled square but drilled with an auger at both ends of the slot and sawn between the two – Interesting fact!!    Whilst I had his attention I encouraged him to help with some of the large stone placing (I may be getting stronger but I’m still not quite as strong as him) and eventually I discovered that I quite enjoyed doing it.  One particular day went exceptionally well – I managed to fit six stones in about an hour – instead of my more usual one stone in six hours!!  Well, that is a slight exaggeration but, as an example, Steve went wandering all the way to the bottom of the paddock to fetch some wood and by the time he returned I still hadn’t placed a single stone – I had spent the whole time walking between my two stone piles, looking at stones and occasionally trying to fit one in!  When I admitted my lack of progress Steve said I had been doing something even if it was only looking at stones – it wasn’t like I was sitting or standing around watching him!!  The plinth is now finished (taken two and a half weeks!) and has been covered to try and help it dry slowly – too quick and the mortar just cracks!

New Uprights
Finished – From Inside
Finished – From Top Down
Finished – From The Front, Covers Ready

Steve had also been doing a lot of homework – trying to find out the exact dimensions of French door frames.  He eventually managed to find a website which gave all the measurements he needed and so he could start creating that part of the frame.  However, for some unknown reason, he got himself into a little bit of a pickle!  The height of the door frame is 217 cm and he wanted to add 20 mm for distortion and tweakability!  So, in his mind, he needed the uprights to be 237 cm.  No problem (?!)  I’m not sure of the width but again he added his 20 mm and we laid the frame out on the ground and everything looked good. The time had come to cut the mortise and tenon joints.  He grabbed his tape measure and asked me to confirm his measuring.  He measured one of the uprights and marked where the joint would go and then on to the other.  However this time there appeared to be a discrepancy – so he measured the height from the bottom of the upright to the joint on both and then measured from the top down to the joint.  “There’s something not quite right here”, he said.  And to this day we cannot for the life of us figure out how he did it but he had cut one of his uprights to the correct height of 219 cm and the other to his ‘thought’ 237 cm. He says it is probably because he was trying to work in centimetres and they are not a real measurement (by the way he has now reverted to inches!!)  He then had to fit some beams to either side of the frame – one going into the house wall and the other resting on the stone pillar in the garage.  All sorted!  Next he had to make the frame for the apex – that again caused him a few headaches as he wasn’t very good at getting his angles quite right – but fortunately any mis-cuts weren’t catastrophic as he was still able to use the same piece of wood!  And once again it was erection time!

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He had planned this erection to the nth degree and it worked!

When we had removed the old lean-tos we had discovered that there was an original window that had been filled in so after I had finished my plinth making I allowed myself the time to remove the infill.  Unfortunately it was only a small window and it was mainly full of dust and dirt – smelt a bit ratty too, so didn’t take very long to remove at all.  The small rounded branch lintels are completely rotten and will need replacing.  Even though it is not shown on the planning application as it was original we are going to keep it!

Filled Original Window
Re-opened Original Window

As it appears we will soon (well, soonish) be ready to start cob-making we have been keeping an eye out for straw.  After unsuccessful shopping forays, I had to admit that I would have to approach a local farmer when we saw one.  This shouldn’t be too difficult as we cycle past a farm twice a day!  One day a tractor appeared in the wheat field next to us and I thought my time had come.  However, he was spraying so I decided I wouldn’t venture too close!  This then led to at least a week of not spotting a single farmer anywhere.  Then one afternoon we heard an approaching tractor and my heart sank!  This was the moment!  By the time I had made it to the road the tractor was nowhere in sight, although we could still hear it – so no get-out there!  Steve was heading down to the paddock with his chainsaw and I headed towards the sounds of the tractor in a bid to accost a farmer!  There was I, clad in overalls standing at the side of the road.  The farmer was turning his hay and he acknowledged my wave and continued turning.  Fortunately it was a very small field so I only had to stand (feeling a bit of an idiot) waiting for a short time before he exited the field.  Being the nice man that he is, he jumped down from his tractor and I went into my ‘spiel’ of how we are renovating the house over there and need some straw and did he know where we could buy some?  I obviously did this quite well as he responded rather too quickly for me!  However, I managed to convey that I could understand if he spoke a little slower and we continued our conversation.  He said that the wheat field next to us was his as well and that if we only wanted one or two bales he would sell them to us but if we needed more than that he couldn’t help as he needs it himself.  He said that the field should be ready to cut at the beginning of August and he could leave a bale or two behind and then move them for us as it would only take him five minutes to move them and us just a little bit longer! (We are talking about the large round bales – Steve had thought that we might have been able to attach one to the back of his bike but did worry that it might run him over!)  So success, we have our straw on order and it is coming from closer than the oak for the frame!  Almost no food miles!!!

We have had a couple of days off this week as we wanted to listen to the Cricket World Cup – England semi-final against Australia and then the final against New Zealand.  Both fantastic games and wow, what an exciting finish to the final – but it does seem a little unfair for New Zealand to have lost the way they did!  We had noticed a sign for a Vide Greniers (car boot sale) at Plourhan (en route to the property) and then when checking online we discovered there was also one at Etables Sur Mer on the same day – Sunday (cricket final day).  We decided that we could go to both – Plourhan first then to Etables and back to the boat (that way round the hills are nicer!!) in time to sit down and listen to TMS (Test Match Special).  For some reason I managed to have a slight lie-in on Sunday morning (1/4 to 8) which put us slightly behind schedule and as I was desperate to hear the start of the cricket (the start of the semi-final had been very exciting) I was worried we wouldn’t make it.  However, I needn’t have worried – you will not believe it but we finally managed to find a scythe at Plourhan!!  This meant that we no longer had any real need to go to Etables.  I had assumed we would take it straight to the property but for some reason Steve had thought we would go back to the boat – he then admitted that my idea was the better as we were almost halfway there anyway!  So he got out his bungees, found a bit of foam and strapped the scythe to his bike – he just couldn’t make any tight turns!

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Grim Reaper Goes Eco

With this additional distance we just about made it back to St Quay at 11.30 – Steve suggested I put the cricket on (we listen through my phone) whilst we sorted the bikes out.  Imagine my surprise (and delight) to see ‘match delayed – play to start at 10.45 BST’.  Perfect!

The fourth of July was my birthday!  Steve offered to take me out for the day and out for a meal but I really wanted to continue with the plinth!  So I spent my 51st birthday mixing muck and playing with stones!  I almost got an exciting present – another chainsaw.  The on/off switch had started playing up on Steve’s and he thought we might have to take it back and, on past experience, that involves a long wait for it to go to the supplier, get fixed or replaced and then returned.  However, after a little online searching he discovered it was a common problem and easily fixable – so I didn’t get my present!!

Steve has moved on to making the ridge beam to span the new extension.  This time he is using cherry – excellent, it seems a bit lighter than the oak!  I’m sure though he is still going to over-engineer it so it might turn out to be just as heavy!  He had a wander through the trees looking for the right one and returned to ask me to take a walk in the woods.  I thought this was to discuss which tree to use but he had a completely different thought in his mind.  He had come across an area that he thought would be ideal for chickens and wanted my opinion.  As we approached the area we startled a deer who had been dozing in the drainage ditch and he took off across the field!  I think the chicken area has been decided but Steve now has thoughts that perhaps he needs a gun for deer-hunting as we have yet to spot a rabbit.  I have said no!

After some measuring, some spirit-levelling and some ‘what looks right’ we have now managed to place the ridge.  Steve had to dig out a bit of cob but as the ridge will go very near to the large crack in the house wall it was an easy job.  Once again, no dramas and apart from a bit of a sore shoulder for Steve (from hefting the wood up) no issues at all!!

In The House
In The Garage
From Below
The Buildings Are Joined!

Oh and by the way we have now passed 2000 km on the bikes (sorry, no photo this time!!) and they are still going strong, even with the mistreatment they get – being left out in all weather in a seaside environment!!

It’s A Dirty Job, So He Made Me Do It!!

It was time to move onto the frame for the glazed side of the extension.  Steve was very pleased to get back to working with his chainsaw.  The trolley worked well, yet again, with the biggest trunk so far (weighing approx. 200kg) being transported safely.  Is there a chance that he actually over-engineers things?!  Of course, as this one was going to be the base of the glazed wall I had to dig yet another trench.  I’m sure Steve must have had a past life in the army, as every time he gets me to dig a trench he then makes me fill it back up!  This took two days – all that rain had certainly helped soften the ground up and I wasn’t going as deep this time.  The trench was filled with small stones, like the other, and once we had managed to manoeuvre the ‘beam’ into place I would back-fill the hole.  Once again Steve used his ‘to the millimetre’ measuring which meant that there was a bit of finangling to get the ‘beam’ into place.  But, it’s in now and I don’t think there’s much chance of it coming out again!

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Beam In-Situ

Next up was a fairly major job, probably the most significant or highest risk job that we have on the plan – fitting a lintel into the gable end of the two storey building so we can open a doorway through and, as I am sure you can remember from the photos, this is the wall with the bloody big crack down it!  The architects did have concerns with this modification as they thought that the likelihood of the wall collapsing was very high (we tended to agree with them!).  Steve did his best to stabilise the crack by placing several rocks in the gap and then it was his job to cut out the wall for the lintel.  I took this time to do a bit of tidying up – I cleared loose render and odd concrete bits from the walls and also the plants that were growing from the wet cob.  As Steve had said he would probably use some of the old slate tiles to wedge the lintel I thought it would be a good idea to collect them into one (and, for once) small pile.  I got a couple of surprises doing this!  First off, a red slug, all curled up in a ball – the first time I had seen one, and then when I moved a piece of slate, something underneath jumped – a cute little frog!

Urgh, Slug!
Ahh, Cute Frog!

When Steve got to the last five or six inches of his knocking out he did feel a small stone land on his arm and he wondered if this was the moment that the wall would fall down, however with a couple of temporary blocks in place the wall above remained stable with only one additional crack to show for it – albeit 2 ft long and horizontal.  He was then able to complete the final removal of cob – it had only taken him two days and was a success, hole cut and wall still in place! I did manage to get into a little bit of trouble (well, time for yet another laugh moment!)  I knew that Steve had decided to use the large crack in the side wall as a gauge (to see whether the end wall was moving at all), using his fingers as his datum, but didn’t know which part of the gap he had used (because of his height, I assumed he would have used a higher up section) and in my exuberant render removal I had removed a vital part of his gauge!  At least I owned up quickly so he didn’t have to worry that the wall was actually moving, well, at least I don’t think it was!!

After the precision with which he had planned out the first wall frame I thought he had done the same with the lintel placement – however, his thinking had got as far as, get it resting on the wall beam and slide it in – but the wall beam was 2 metres up and the lintel weighs in excess of 120 kg!  So after one aborted attempt it was time to down tools, go back to the boat, think about it, drink wine and tackle the job tomorrow!  The following day arrived and this was the time Steve decided to test out his workbench (first job for it and a big one at that!)  With levers and strategically placed steps and rope, we slowly, but surely, got it in place.  We only had one minor hiccup where one of the ladders decided to go for a walk – landing Steve on his arse!  However, my timing was impeccable on this occasion and I managed to get my ladder into the right position to save any embarrassment or starting all over again!!

 

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At the end of the day the lintel was in and the wall was still there!!

Steve had been bleating on that he had lots of woodwork to do and he had decided that my job, being a menial task, was to open up the doorway in the cob.  I’m pretty sure he knew how hard it was going to be and that was why it was my job!!  Cob, what is cob?  It is just a combination of clay, sand and straw.  This cannot be that hard, can it?  However with a wall thickness of between 400 and 800mm, it bloody well is!  With my new first-hand experience of the strength of cob I set about the mammoth task of removing the doorway section, 1.2m wide x 2.4m high.  This was an incredibly dirty and sweaty job!  Not being a fan of dust masks we decided that a snood would be the way to go!  The same snood that had kept me warm in June 2012!

Snood 2012
Snood 2019

We thought that I should start inside the main building so as to be able to recover as much of the wall material as possible as we will be reusing it to build the new wall.  Standing on the spoil created previously I got into quite a rhythm with a club hammer and bolster. I love these mindless jobs!  If you are lucky and hit it just right it will sometimes come off in huge great clumps – great for this removal job, probably not so good for when we want to reuse it, I think I will be using a sledgehammer to break it up!  There was one good thing though, inside the house is incredibly cool and with the existing front door open there was occasionally a nice breeze blowing through and the really fine dust was being blown away from me to the outside! It didn’t stop me sweating though!  After four days I could walk through, even if it was onto a pile of rubble!  A morning of shovelling and it would be clear to walk straight through!  We were pretty sure that there was quite a difference in the floor levels of the two buildings but now we had a chance to check.  Steve just had to do a test with his fancy laser level and we discovered that it was just an optical illusion as the levels are similar enough that we won’t need a step between the two buildings.

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Midway through this job we were allowed a day off – there was a large ‘marche aux puces’ (flea-market) being held at Lanvollon.  We have been searching for a scythe but so far, at all the vide-greniers (similar to English car-boot sales) we have been to, we have been unsuccessful.  As the stalls at Lanvollon stretched through the whole town we were hopeful.  However, as is so often the case, we were to leave empty-handed.  Steve was all excited when he spotted my washing machine (a wash-board) and he could hardly contain himself when he saw what could be my perfect spin dryer – no idea what it really was but it looked like a commercial sized salad spinner – the size of a rubbish bin – he reckoned that if it wasn’t quite fit for purpose he would be able to modify it for me.  Surprisingly I didn’t agree with him and, as he had left his trolley behind and I would have had to transport any purchases on my bike rack I refused graciously (well, I gave him ‘the look’!) when he offered to buy them for me!!

We stopped at the property on the way back from Lanvollon as we had decided that we wanted to try and harvest some of the cherries before the birds get them all!  I’m hoping that, as there about 300 cherry trees, they will leave some for me!  As most of them are far too high for us to reach we thought we would pick up the windfall ones – quite a lot were resting nicely on the long grass and other weeds and hadn’t made it to the ground!  This year’s cherry vodka will be with my own cherries!!

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Cherry Vodka On The Way

My next job is yet another trench, this time where the original front door is.  (Technically the last building trench, well apart from drainage and other services).  The door is being replaced with a window so I have to dig a small trench (we have discovered that the property has no underground foundations) and build a stone plinth.   Steve insists that I have to do this one – I’m hoping it won’t be too difficult as I found a lot of rather nice, flat faced stones in the end wall which should make my jigsaw puzzle easy to do!)  Steve kindly lifted the door off its hinges (far too many thick, black cobwebs for me!) and I set to work.  I got about an inch or so down when I came across some large stones so I think I’ve found the original door jamb!  This means that my trench will not be as deep as I first thought as we have decided not to remove stones that have been in position for the last two-hundred years!  I am not enjoying digging this trench as much as it is a bit more fiddly!!  One side of the door frame has rotted at the bottom so Steve suggested that I might as well take it out – this involved using an auger (hand drill thing!) to drill out the peg.  I am not the tallest person (although I think I’m pretty much average height for French men) and unfortunately found that I was just a bit too short to drill comfortably, I ended up using my head as well as one hand to put pressure on the auger and taking frequent breaks to ‘rest’ my arms.  Two hundred year old oak is hard to get through, let me tell you, nothing like that green oak stuff Steve has been playing about with!!

Boots Are On!

With the frame in place it was time to start building our foundation!  We had the washed small stones to a depth of 100mm which creates the French drain (but as we are in France, do we just call it a drain?)  Steve drew me a little picture to explain what we needed to do!

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Technical(?) Drawing Of The Footings

Then it was selecting ‘as large as we could’ flat stones that would fill the width of the trench. This needed to be dry (unmortared) and was to stop any mortared stone reaching the painstakingly washed stones underneath.  We had decided to put a French drain in even though the existing property doesn’t appear to have one as we have dug below the level of the stone footing.  If nothing else it is an experiment in what is possible!

This next phase was to be my job – while I was doing it this would allow Steve to continue with his woodwork.  We knew that Steve would have to do the dry layer as the stones would be too heavy for me to move.  However, much as I was anticipating this activity it soon became apparent that I am not cut out for stonemasonry – a jigsaw puzzle with no interlocking pieces or even a picture to follow.  Amazingly I was able to convince Steve that he could leave his woodwork for the time being and become a mason.  After both of us had made batches of mortar we decided that my role in this important foundation wall build would be mortar-maker, cos my mortar-maker mate wasn’t as good at mortar-making as me!!  This also provided Steve with two new songs to sing – “muck-maker, muck-maker, make me some muck” to the tune of Beach Baby (which after some checking I discovered was a hit for The First Class back in 1974 – Steve would have been 9 and me 6 so how on earth do we remember that one!!) and also, “Muck-maker, muck-maker, make me some muck, find me some muck, make me some muck” – to the tune of Match-Maker from Fiddler On The Roof!!!

After doing some homework and much debate between us I had decided that I wanted a natural mortar with no chemical.  Steve had been advocating lime mortar whereas I was a fan of good old earth mortar which actually matches the existing.  The plus point to this type of mortar was that we didn’t need to buy anything to make it – win, win.  We had a 3:1 mix, 3 trowels of reclaimed cob (we have a large pile of this where the wall is falling down) to one part aggregate (my small stone mix) mixed together with enough water to make a gluey, sticky mud-pie batter!  Not too much water and not too little – just enough to make it workable.  One of the benefits is that even the following day you can make alterations as it takes quite a while to set (which bears no resemblance to the final product as a good dowsing of water can un-set it quite easily!)  Like a cold, stodgy, set rice pudding, you can add more milk and heat it and it will be brought back from the brink! (Just ask Steve’s mum!!)

Having no water supply at the property has meant me having to transport water – why, oh why did I go for the bike with the rack? – perhaps he aint as daft as he looks after all!  One of Steve’s previous skip acquisitions (all that time ago in Fleetwood 2013) was a 20 litre Mango Chutney container, which had been used by a fishing vessel called Prawn Star.  They had obviously decided that a broken handle was enough to make it an undesirable object – thankfully Steve felt differently and it has been used for various activities including eel killing, rope cleaning and now water storage and collection!  The gods have shone(?!) upon us as it has possibly been the wettest June since we sailed round Britain in 2012, meaning that after the first couple of water transportation runs we haven’t had to do any.  Wheelbarrow, buckets and canvas covers have all collected water for us and we haven’t lost too much (ahem!!) when harvesting the water from the canvas covers (Steve managed to get me once and I also managed to get him – I think mine was better as I was holding the bucket at an angle that shot the water straight back at him and a direct hit down his wellies!!) Another opportunity for laughter!  And now as I write this with the footings completed I have a full bowser of water.

So, to the technical side of these footings:  On top of the dry stones, the next layer was likely (depending on stone size) to reach ground level (or grade – which I understand is the official term for it!). So our target was to try and have as many flat facing stones, both external and internal spanning the width of the trench.  Steve reckoned I would soon get my eye in and would be able to take over from him – however that wasn’t EVER going to happen!  The stones were too heavy and far too difficult for me to figure out where to put them – and even if I did find one that I thought was suitable I was worried that there would be a better place for it later or another stone more suited that I hadn’t found yet! Steve tells me that there is an old saying that if you pick up a stone you shouldn’t put it down until you’ve laid it – this gave me an excuse not to pick up any!!!  So after doing the first day Steve’s thought processes were to put into the wall as many large stones as possible to reduce the number of joints and to be self-supporting.  Some of these stones probably weighed in the region of 50 – 60 kg each and we even had to transport some onto the footings by trolley.  (Note to self:  you should have insisted on finding some strong, burly firefighters to help us out).  Steve had to take a break from building a few times to go searching for more big stones – we had spotted some down by the troll bridge and knew there were quite a few inside the ‘house’ in the ‘what looks to have been a fireplace’ area.   With all the large stones used the jigsaw puzzle commenced – only after we had debated how high to make the footings.  This is when we finally took our first look at the plans (since February) and noted that with the window being 1m tall, the outside face of the wall – cob and stone – a total of 1.9m this meant that, in some areas we were already at the finish height.  Of course, with Steve’s method of building (effectively building an internal and external wall with a cavity between) there were ‘void areas’.  Steve had decided (in his head) that with my skill set I would be able to fill these areas which would therefore reduce the amount of building work he had to do as he was suffering chainsaw withdrawal.  I did actually start to enjoy filling my cavity, with Steve out of the way playing chainsaws again, it meant I could do things my way, even if it wasn’t Steve’s way!  Unfortunately the wall/foundation took longer than expected because of all the rain delays – some days it meant enforced days off and others meant indoor work as rain and natural earth mortars mix a bit too well!  We only experienced one minor wall failure after the first heavy downpour day – but it was actually a blessing as one of the stones slipped into the trench very nicely and we wouldn’t be able to move it now if we tried!  We were very kind to the wall and tucked it in snugly at the end of each work day – I think the most frustrating days for me were the two we were at the property but because of the soggy ground there was no way any building could take place. It coincided with the fact that there were only two days’ work left – c’est la vie!!

Washed Drainage Stones
Interior – Mid-build
Exterior – Mid-build
Interior – Finished
Exterior – Finished
Tucked Up For The Night

During the period of stone work a couple of local gentlemen took the opportunity to inspect our work.  Both commented (in French of course) that it looked good and was coming along nicely.  One even said that he knew it was hard work but we could look back and be proud once it was finished – well at least that’s what I translated it as – he could actually have said, “That looks shit, why don’t you quit?” but I don’t think my French is bad enough to make that translation mistake – this was reinforced by Steve’s translation of what we’d heard (and he does know his French expletives!!)

For the record we calculated that we have laid two and a half tonnes of stone and mortar and it has taken a month from ground breaking to completion of the footings!  I don’t think that’s too bad, considering it is all being done by hand with make shift equipment and recycling materials with some interludes gathering stone from the property and wood relocation from the paddock and it has cost us the princely sum of 8 Euros – two buckets and a colander!

With our enforced days off we have been a bit lost, but it has given us the opportunity for afternoon naps again!! We took a bus trip to Brico-Depot at Plerin (part of the B&Q group) to look at window and door frames.  Unfortunately we didn’t like what they had in store – they looked very insubstantial compared with the wood we have been using, so we need to look elsewhere.  We managed to spot a couple of window companies but, as is usually the case, we found them at lunchtime and yes, of course, they were shut!  Still windows and doors aren’t yet a priority so we’ll wait a bit on that – walls and a roof are needed first!!

We were also given a day off by Storm Miguel.  He wasn’t as bad as we expected but with the wind on the side of the boat we did get a bit of a lean-on.  At its worst (52 knots), we had a lean of about 15 degrees and, because I’m curious I chose to check out the webcam picture.  An excellent shot of our mast leaning!!  One of the funniest things was one of the marina staff trying to push the boat against the wind so he could replace a popped out fender – Steve did point out that it was unnecessary and he wouldn’t be able to do it – 30+ tonnes against 50 knot winds – it’s hard enough without wind!!

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Yes, That Is Our Mast Leaning!

After Steve had stolen the big stones from the fireplace area (or wheel trim storage area as it was when we bought it) we needed to sift through the cob/stone/possible lime mortar (maybe concrete).  This was my job as Steve had decided he was fed up with working on his knees so he was going to build himself a bench – yet another use for those crappy old nails his dad had sent!!

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It Isn’t Pretty, But I Bet It Will Work!!

Another indoor job we could do was to clear the hay loft!  This would enable Steve to fully understand the work required on the first floor!  Steve climbed the ladder with rake in hand; I removed the ladder and placed the one-tonne bag underneath the hole!  Easy – Steve would rake the hay to the hole, it would fall into the bag and I would empty the bag and replace it – hey, presto!! This worked for the first three minutes, and then Steve had a better idea.  I should move the bag, he would continue raking the hay and then whilst he was having a breather I could fill the bag, empty and repeat!  After about four bags worth and the pile reaching the ceiling height, Steve kindly offered to assist, so I struggled the ladder back in place and we worked together(?!).  This took longer than I expected (I obviously hadn’t taken notice of just how much hay was up there!)  He only found two more rotten floorboards and also a trap door with cut outs for a ladder – ooh, exciting!!  Surprisingly, considering the smell took me straight back to childhood memories of rats in the corn bin, (sorry mum, but it’s true!), there were no real signs of rodent infestation – just one red squirrel tail and one very desiccated mouse and not even any hint of Steve’s scary cat!!

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How Much Hay?

What! No Crane?!!

Well, I can honestly say we have been working hard.  The weather has been kind to us – well apart from yesterday and today! Yesterday the weather was ideal for the job we were doing (overcast and cool) so that was good but then the heavens opened on us on the way back to the boat and today it has been raining on and off, which has prevented us leaving the marina – we don’t want to arrive soaking wet but getting back in the rain is fine!!  At least the enforced day off has meant I have managed to catch up on my washing and given me a chance to update you!

We managed to bring up another of Steve’s beams (2.5m) from the paddock on our trusty tractor but decided, due to the weight, that there was no way that we could use the bike trailer for the 4 metre long one.  This took a bit of thinking about – he decided that if we went to Super U and bought another tipper truck he could use the wheel sections and fashion a ‘contraption’ suitable for the job.  This was, of course, on the understanding that they were still selling them there!  Unfortunately they weren’t, so a slight change of plans was called for.  Steve decided that if he bought me a shiny new wheelbarrow (which would always come in handy) he could purloin my truck! It was a good job I didn’t go with him to Point Vert (the local garden centre) as he had to carry the wheelbarrow upside down on top of his trailer and I would have found it difficult to ride behind him without giggling uncontrollably!

While Steve was off ‘shopping’ I was busy sifting dirt.  We had looked for a sieve in the DIY store but could only find sand ones and they were far too fine a mesh – so once again Steve’s ingenuity came to the fore.  He had acquired (from a skip at Beaucette I believe) a large crab net – the holes looked to be a good size so that is what I used.  It took a good few days (especially as I was called upon to help Steve with his wood) but at the end of it I had a pile of largish stones/rocks and two garden bags and an old drawer full of small stones/dirt which now needed washing!  This meant yet another present for me – a plastic colander – Curver brand – only the best for me!!  The table out of the caravan came in handy too!

My New Pressie
Rocks, Stones & Gravel
My Work Station

Anyway that’s enough about my menial tasks and over to the far more important (i.e. Stevie’s) jobs.  He spent a few minutes dismantling my truck and adding a small platform to one end and we set off down to the paddock for the large beam.  We thought we had enough securing straps but once the beam was successfully mounted on the trailer and we set off we discovered that we really needed the ratchet straps which Steve had managed to leave in the shed (caravan).  I waited patiently in the paddock, admiring the wild flowers and babbling stream and he trudged back for them – well it was his fault he didn’t bring them in the first place!  With the ratchet straps attached the next obstacle was manoeuvring the 185kg (29 stone in real money) load.  (He calculated the weight later as he was curious!!)  The flattish paddock wasn’t too difficult other than the 3ft high grass Steve had to pull it through (I was pushing again and available for load support during turning operations).  The troll bridge was next – it only took two attempts to line the back wheels up so they wouldn’t fall through the gaps and then that lovely little slope with an inconveniently positioned small tree which just happened to be exactly where the rear wheels needed to be.  This did halt progress for a few minutes whilst we swapped positions – I got to pull as Steve pushed it over the tree!  Once we were past that and at the top of the incline we took a breather, then without further ado Steve strode off at a much better pace, I could keep up and was even able to push!  With just a couple of rest stops, it wasn’t long until we emerged from the trees triumphantly!  Mark 3 trailer was proved a success!!

Trailer Mark Three
Thirty Stone On My 60 Euro Trailer

Building was starting to feel a bit real now as all the timber needed for the first frame was in touching distance of its final resting place!

The construction of the frame is going to be a ‘simple’ two uprights with mortise and tenon joints to the supporting beam which spans from the garage into the wall on the gable end of the two storey part.  This was Steve’s first attempt at mortise and tenon joints since woodwork class in 1979!! He didn’t like wood then and still says “I don’t like wood”.  After discovering that his circular saw was too power-hungry for the acquired generator, his only option was to use the chainsaw, therefore doing all the joints by eye.  Other than a few slight overruns the chainsaw worked well, even being operated as a plunge saw (thanks Mac, he didn’t even know what one was!)  For once Steve was the one suffering with the heat – I have never seen sweat pouring from him like it did that day!!

Time came for the first trial fit.  A sledge hammer and much timber adjustment were required.  Lessons were learned for the second joint – more clearance necessary, wood doesn’t operate the same way as metal!  Whilst undertaking the trial fit the beam decided to start its creation of shakes – although I believe the real cause of the crack was the very tight joint and use of sledgehammer – however the beam, although cracked was still serviceable!  It took a couple of days to complete the first joint but after learning his lessons he completed the second one in a morning with the sledgehammer remaining in the shed – see you can teach an old dog new tricks sometimes!  Steve then announced that he was off to get some wood and returned with some branches which he started whittling to make his pegs.  He was really chuffed that he could use his knife without me complaining!

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Our First Shake (Man-made)

The following day’s work was planned.  We needed to assemble the frame as close to its final position as possible.  This meant I had to move my stone pile and remaining drawer and bag of, now to be called, aggregate, whilst Steve cut the beams to their finished lengths.  I had forgotten to mention that, as part of his pre-work, Steve had to undertake one of the jobs he was fearing (in case the wall fell down) which was to create the hole in the gable end wall for the beam to be inserted into, which in turn will support the lintel to be fitted later.  The cob is incredibly soft and dusty on the outside, however, the structure needed a bolster chisel to create the opening – all hail the cob!  On completion of the hole-making, a huge sigh of relief as the gable end was still where it should be – he had not had a detrimental effect on the structure.

So, to the assembly – we carried the two smaller beams (one at a time, of course!) to the garage (these probably weigh about 15 stone each!) and trusty-trailered the large one across.  It was time for Steve’s erection to commence!  This was something that he had been thinking constantly about for the past few weeks/months – how would just the two of us manhandle it without the aid of a crane?  Due to the height restriction and poor placement of lifting blocks in the garage the main supporting beam would not go high enough to allow both vertical supports to be fitted simultaneously.  So the first upright was fitted with the main beam at an angle and lots of bits of rope, the step ladders we’d stolen from Steve’s dad and the occasional use of our favourite sledgehammer!  With the pegs fitted it was now time to attempt fitting the second upright.  This was slightly more difficult as the load was a bit unstable on lifting, but we managed to overcome it with yet more ropes strategically positioned and the final lift required the use of a lever – remind Steve not to pick a worm-ridden piece of wood!  I did ask him “Do you think that’s going to be strong enough?”, to which he answered, “Yeah, of course it will” just before it snapped!  I was right again and yet another opportunity for a laugh!  The next piece he selected was far more robust and suitable for the task.  With the frame all complete, it was time for a pat on the back, a cycle home and a glass or two of wine (or whisky, bourbon or vodka!)

Lifting The Main Beam
One Leg On
Second Leg On

That brings us to yesterday morning.  I had spent many hours the previous night going through all the possible permutations of how we would manoeuvre the frame – even by the morning I didn’t really have a clue!  I should have known better anyway – Steve had been planning this for ages!  We did think that perhaps we should talk to Tristan, one of the marina boys.  He is a fireman and perhaps he and five of his burly firefighter mates might be able to lift it straight in!!  However, we are very keen to do it ourselves!  So with the pre-job brief explaining that we would attach the wheels to one leg, use some HDPE board (high density polyurethane – bought for the boat, but unsuitable for purpose there!) as a slide for the other leg and with strategically placed ropes and rope pulleys we would succeed moving the whole assembly three and a half metres and down into my trench.  I felt happy with my duties, mainly watching and stabilising as necessary with Stevie doing gentle pushing and we started.  We inched slowly across the open expanse until we got the beam into position where it needed to go into the trench.  Steve thought he should increase the clearance on the hole so out came the bolster for a minor adjustment.  We repositioned the wheels on the front leg and in a very controlled manner the beam entered the hole in the gable end!  Big grins all round!!  At this point, as we had no wheels attached friction was slightly higher, so I got to use the sledgehammer to do a bit of tapping.  It was now time to get the other leg into the trench – this also went in with no dramas – time to remove all ropes and stand back and smile!! Steve had bought me a spirit level to help with my next task – building the stone plinth so decided he would, for a laugh, check the level of the main beam.  Amazingly the first place he tried the level it was absolutely dead straight!  Any movement left or right of where he first tried showed just how unstraight it is – how incredible that the spot he picked was perfect – perhaps his eye is good!! Two day’s work, no swearing and not a single cross word – all that planning was worth it!

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Tee’s Trench, Trucks and Trailers

Having arrived back after another two week break in England, it was time for hard work!  We arrived back on the Friday at about 4.30 pm and decided that we would have a ‘relaxing’ Saturday – just a quick cycle to the supermarket for re-provisioning and proper work would start again on Sunday.

As Steve had previously cut down all the trees he needs (although one is still not completely down!) we decided that time had come to start on work covered in the ‘permis’!  So for Steve this started with the trees that he had previously ‘tidied up’ and remove the ones trying to undermine the property and I would clear the area for the new driveway – once again this meant digging and stone removal.  The weather wasn’t particularly hot but in the sun it certainly felt it!  We spent a good couple of days doing that and we came across some pretty sizeable rocks.  Steve decided that a good way to move them would be with his trolley so, back at the boat, he ventured into his man-cave (otherwise known as the back locker) to retrieve it.  Unfortunately as he was climbing back out his back spasmed (as it is known to do at least once a year!)  Being the trouper that he is (or should that be idiot) we still went to the property and he moved the non-manhandle-able rocks.  To see if he could recover quickly we decided to take Wednesday as a rest day – it would be an ideal opportunity for me to do some laundry and Steve said he would clean the floors in the boat!  I think I got the easy option – putting the laundry in the machine, adding liquid and then putting the token in and sitting outside the shower block watching the boats in the sunshine, all while Steve had cleaned the sumps and brushed and washed the floor all the way through the boat – he took exception and swore at me when I asked if he had done the walls too!

On Thursday we were back to driveway creation and Steve still had a couple of trees and bushes to remove –  working on his hands and knees was conducive to his back pain and I am happy digging!!  He was taking paracetamols to help; however, as he is a wuss at swallowing tablets he took to chewing them – I think that must be far worse than swallowing them whole!  By the end of work Thursday the new vehicular access had been created, which was the first P on our worklist (P on our worklist was work that couldn’t be done until we had received our permis)!!  Steve even tried it out by pulling my tipper truck containing his large root over it and it remained stable!

From This
To This
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One Or Two Rocks and Stones

Friday was a big day!  En-route I reached a significant milestone (well, kilometrestone) – 1000 km ridden on my electric bike and in true Homer Simpson style I had to stop and photograph the evidence – although there was a slight panic when, by the time I got my phone out, the 1000 showing had reverted to 0!  Fortunately there is an accumulated total button and so I was able to photograph that!

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Woo hoo – 1000km

The big job at the property was marking out the footings – we had a choice – to have a dogleg construction to the main building to keep the extension square to the main building or to have a straight wall on the extension which matched the ‘garage’ to the main building.  As nothing in the property is square or level we decided to go with aesthetics as 200 years ago spirit levels and engineered squares wouldn’t have been used especially by woodcutters and farmers! Once my guide lines were in place Steve handed me my tools for the day – pick-axe, spade, shovel and three-pronged scrapey tool.  He was off to the paddock with his chainsaw, tape measure, marker pen and cutting list.  He thought squaring off the tree trunks wouldn’t be too taxing on his back – another job he could perform on his knees!  I started breaking up the existing driveway.  Before he left for the paddock, he watched me start.  He then proceeded to provide some much needed instruction on how to use the pick (the sliding hand technique), as apparently the way I was using it meant I would have a bad back very quickly because I wasn’t using the natural weight and gravity to assist.  This was bloody hard work as the ground was well compacted and full of stones and rocks!

During one of my frequent drink breaks a van appeared and out jumped the previous owner and another man.  When we had first come back we had discovered that some of our grass had been cut – assuming that it was Monsieur G who had done this kind deed we had emailed him thanking him but hadn’t heard anything back from him.  Monsieur G rushed to greet me and having, obviously, forgotten my level of French, proceeded to explain why they were there – he was arranging for a driveway to be made for his sister-in-law who has her holiday home opposite as she previously had used our driveway.  He said that he had been to see us at the boat but had discovered that we were in England and that he had cut the grass to ‘boost our morale’.  I told him we had sent an email thanking him and he just smiled (he had previously told us that he didn’t use it very much).  He then advised that he had been checking on the electricity supply and showed me where the ‘coffret’ (box) would be positioned.  By this time Steve had put in an appearance and Monsieur introduced us to the other chap – he was a digger man who kindly provided his card and explained, if my translation is correct, that he has an English friend who has done a lot of renovations and if we wanted someone to speak to who had done what we are planning to do, he would be willing to put us in touch – ooh, two contacts in short order!

To prove that he had been working down in the paddock Steve brought me up his first remnant plank and said that we needed to buy a sharpener for his chainsaw blade before he could continue squaring off – so on our way home we called into Bricorama, which was closed as it was lunchtime (of course we are back in France!)  As it was almost two o’clock we decided to do a bit of shopping in Lidl (over the road) first (well, Steve did, once again I wasn’t dressed for polite company – although I think he is getting wise to that little trick!)  Once in Bricorama we scoured the shelves by the ‘tronconneuses’ (chainsaws) but couldn’t see anything appropriate.  This meant Theresa to the fore with Google Translate on hand (I didn’t know the French word for sharpen – I know now it is aiguiser!!) and I approached the friendly store assistant.  He immediately understood what I was asking for and led us to the hand tools aisle and provided the necessary file – amazingly Steve had even got the size right (it had been 8 weeks since he had read the French instructions for the chainsaw)!

Another day of trench digging for me on Saturday and Steve playing in the paddock (his overalls absolutely reek of garlic from all the kneeling he has done, although he has become garlic nose-blind!)  It was time to bring up his first oak beam for the wooden frame.  Steve thought that we could utilise my tipper truck.  So off we set, through the grass at my arm-pit height (bearing in mind I am 5’ 8”, it is quite high!) across the troll bridge and into the paddock.  We lifted it on and with a couple of sturdy flare boxes to support the weight on the frame rather than the flexible sides my truck performed admirably.  Steve strapped it on and we tried to move.  As this was not very successful (the beam a bit on the long side) Steve’s brain decided that if he brought his bike trailer down as well it would spread the load and help.  The first attempt with the two trailer system was not as successful as we hoped as we had supported the load on the lightweight, tubular aluminium side supports, so with a slight modification we tried again.  This time we were far more successful – Steve pulling my truck and me behind, supposedly pushing – although in reality I was only watching what was going on.  My main role was to assist in crossing the troll bridge, making sure that the nice thin wheels of the bike trailer didn’t disappear down the gaps in the bridge and then pushing up the significant incline (minor really, but when pushing an oak beam it certainly felt significant!)  Once on the more level surface through the trees, Steve took off.  He is very much of the ‘momentum overcomes obstacles’ school and even though he was only walking I was unable to push as I couldn’t keep up, even when I was running!  At one point it looked like Steve was pulling the truck out from under the beam so I managed to get him to stop.  However, it had only been a trick of the eye and, feeling guilty for my lack of pushing, I decided I would have a go at pulling.  I set off and just as I was settling into it all the weight disappeared – I thought I had lost my load so turned, only to discover that Steve had started to push – again I had to start running or risk being run over by my truck, the bike trailer and the oak beam!  Fortunately I was able to wait until we had reached the property before having my giggle fit!  We unloaded the beam and Steve placed it in position – it certainly feels like we are making progress!!  Steve returned to the paddock to shape another beam and I continued digging.  By the end of the workday it looks as though the first trench is dug! I now have to sift out the soil as the stones are going back in the trench to create the French drain for the footings!!  No payment for my double-time working on a Saturday but the promise of a lie-in on Sunday – which actually was quarter to eight instead of twenty to! Oh well, never mind!!

Truck and Trailer
Tee’s Trench

I’m A Lumberjack

Another new week and Steve was determined to start chopping down some trees.  We hoped to get enough down before they start getting too many leaves!  My job, again, was digging – this time along the short side of the main building.  I was given permission to neglect my chores for the brief time it would take Steve to remove the first tree – we wanted a video record!  So, once he was all set up, I appeared with my little camera set to record mode and proceeded to film this historic moment.  The chainsaw part worked well but let’s just say it took at least twenty-five minutes and he spent a fair bit of time standing back and looking (never with his hands on his hips mind!), willing the tree to crash through the branches of the adjacent tree where it had decided to nestle!  He had to make several trips back to the tool store for additional implements but not once did he lose his temper!

One Down, A Few More To Go
My Hard Work Whilst He Plays

I had a little panic whilst doing my digging as I uncovered a small hole – I was worried I might have disturbed something and the wall was going to fall down but after Steve investigated – I wasn’t putting my hand down a dark hole! – he decided it was most likely for a long-gone fence post!  Yet another successful day!

Later we received the message that Steve’s dad had been admitted to hospital again with suspected pneumonia.  This meant a change in our plans and after a quick search on Ferrysavers (an excellent booking service, so simple and straightforward!) we were booked on the Tuesday overnight ferry from St Malo.  With me being ‘paranoid woman’ about missing anything, Steve very kindly agreed that we would get ourselves sorted on the Tuesday morning and catch the 10.30 bus – ten hours before the boat was due to leave!  We successfully negotiated the bus and trains (having to transfer at Rennes) and made it to St Malo just after 2pm.  Fortunately it was a lovely day – bright and warm but not too sunny!  We bought ourselves a little picnic – well crisps and beer – and had a leisurely walk to the ferry terminal via the old city walls.  We had booked a cabin for the crossing and as it was flat calm I didn’t have any problems at all!

Steve’s sister had agreed to pick us up in Steve’s dad’s car.  He was also on the insurance so Caroline sat beside him and in her best ‘driving instructor’ voice proceeded to explain how to set his mirrors, make sure his seat was suitably positioned, etc!! I will not repeat what he said to her, as they had both passed their test in the same week, many years ago!  Steve managed to pull away successfully and pulled up to the junction when both Caz and I said, “you’re on the wrong side of the road!”  His response was, “No wonder that van driver gave me a funny look”. Good job we were only in Morrison’s car park!!

Our stay in England proved longer than originally anticipated but, as we had decided to take the car back as we would need to return in the short term for his mum’s operation, we took the opportunity to do a raid on his dad’s garage and shed.  We even went to a couple of car boot sales and managed to purchase some garden tools.  Charity shops were also faithfully visited and we returned with 71 new to us DVD’s for our winter viewing pleasure!!  We even managed to finally get hold of a copy of A Good Year – one of Steve’s favourite films (which also turns out to be a particular favourite of Steve’s mum).

One morning I received an email from the marina advising that the postman had tried to deliver a ‘signed for’ letter from the mairie of Pleguien to us but as we were not there it would be taken to the post office and kept for two weeks.  Before we had left I had emailed the mairie and asked, that as we would be in England, if there were any issues with our ‘permis’ application could they email us.  As we hadn’t received any email and being anxious to discover the contents of the letter I emailed them again.  I must be getting more confident in my French speaking as I was quite happy to follow up the email (the next day) with a phone call and, surprise, surprise, there were no issues with our ‘permis’, the letter was actually our ‘arrete’ – approval!!!!   We had done it – negotiated the French planning system successfully – pat on the back, Stevie and Alex!!

Our return trip (once again booked through Ferrysavers – so much easier than Brittany Ferries’ website) was Portsmouth to Le Havre, leaving at 3.30pm and arriving in France at about 10pm – ooh, another new challenge (well, not exactly new, but not done for a very long time) – driving in the dark in France!  According to Google – there would be just over three and a half hours of driving with some tolls – oh great, I would have to deal with them!  We were booked on the Etretat and as we drove on I was quite terrified of the height of the ramp we had to negotiate!  Steve was worried that the car wouldn’t have enough ‘oomph’ to make it up, but fortunately we did and I was surprised to find that it was an open deck – a nice covering of salt once we arrived in France!  We managed our way out of Le Havre and our first toll booth was for the absolutely wonderful bridge over the Seine – easy enough, there was a very nice lady sitting inside who gladly took my money!  The next toll, however, was slightly more challenging for my eyesight – Steve could quite clearly see the slot, however the only slot I could see was the ‘change slot’ and funnily enough if you put your money in there the barrier doesn’t lift!  I was pleased it was late as there weren’t any cars behind us to witness my stupidity!! Another laugh out loud opportunity!  (And I think we need to avoid any more tolls!)  After a while we discovered that the A13 to Caen was closed and we would have to follow a ‘Deviation’.  This must have added quite some time to our journey and Google maps (on my phone) kept suggesting different routes but after about two hours on minor roads, small villages, slow speeds, Steve said, get me to a main road, sod the tolls, we need to get home!  As it was we didn’t come across any more toll roads – phew!  As we reached the outskirts of Caen it started raining – well at least that would wash most of the salt off the car!  We also discovered that the dipped headlights on Steve’s dad’s Scenic are absolutely rubbish (Dad, no wonder you struggled driving in the dark!).  However it gave me an opportunity to practice my ‘Boycey from Only Fools and Horses voice’ but instead of “Marlene”, it was “main beam”, every time a vehicle came the other way – which fortunately wasn’t as often as it would have been in England!  We eventually made it back to our welcoming, but cold, boat at about 4.30 am and, as Steve turned on the electric heater it gave a whine and died!  Fortunately, we were prepared and had another to hand!  We had a ‘congratulations, we made it’ celebration drink and went to bed!!  We certainly do not miss having a car – Steve really doesn’t enjoy driving anymore and “Let the train, take the strain” is going to be our motto!!

We managed about 3 or 4 hours of sleep and then settled back into our routine – well, almost.  We needed to take the car to the property to empty out all our “new” equipment and had to stop at the post office to pick up our mail and also stop at the DIY store and get our ‘panneau’ – the board advising passers-by of our ‘permis’.  We also discovered that we had to complete a form for the mairie, officially opening our work site but as the office is only open half a day on Tuesdays we thought we would do that on Wednesday.  I wrote out the sign (looks like a 5 year old’s writing!) and we put it in place!

Our ‘Panneau’
Blossom, Blossom Everywhere

The property was still standing (hurrah) and not too many weeds had grown back – the biggest difference was the amount of blossom on the trees and the length of the grass!  Ah, another implement required – a scythe.

The next morning we set off to the mairie with our form in hand, questions on our lips and plans to buy a book on the History of Plegiuen (the previous owners had told us that there was a picture of our property in the book so we wanted a copy!)  I was feeling quite happy with myself that I would be able to communicate efficiently with Stephanie but when we walked in, she wasn’t there – she was on annual leave!  The other young lady was very helpful and I managed (in my humble opinion) to have a good, well understood conversation!  Even Steve commented on how good I sounded – mind, his opinion might not count for much!  We walked out with our copy of the official ‘ouverture de chantier’ form, a copy of the book and huge smiles.  We had done everything that needed to be done to officially start work!  !!  As we had the car, we thought it would be an ideal opportunity to clear rubbish from the site so loaded it all in.  The ‘dechetterie’ closes for lunch (this is France!) and we had assumed it reopened at 2 pm, however, after taking a scenic route back to Saint Quay (due to road closures) and a quick check on t’internet, we discovered that it reopened at 1.30 pm and as it was 1.20, it was ideal to nip in and get rid of everything – including the desiccated mice in the old, old mouse traps!  The dechetterie man was really helpful, unloading with us and pointing us in the right direction – even when we were leaving – but that was because numpty Steve thought he would drive out through the entrance and not follow the signs to the exit!!

There, car finished with until we need to return to England – back on the bikes – back to normal!!

Thursday’s jobs were to clear the house of timber and other items (this included a hand-made timber bed frame – unfortunately only a single!) and Steve climbed the ladder to the first floor and had a bit of a surprise.  Something was startled and his first thought was it was a rat – however it turned out to be a cat that jumped out of a hole in the roof!  Not really sure who was more frightened!!  He also managed to prevent himself from falling through rotten floorboards – thank goodness for large feet! Once the house was empty he grabbed his chainsaw and took off.  I continued clearing the edges of the buildings and listened out for the crashing trees (he was in the paddock, right at the bottom of our land).  He achieved some success but not quite as much as he would have liked and even admitted that he has taken to swearing in French (as his chainsaw blade was trapped for the umpteenth time!)  Apparently his first tree fell just as he planned and as I looked down towards him I noticed the horse in the next field hurtling away.  I am now not sure whether that was because of the tree or because he started singing Monty Python’s Lumberjack Song!  However the second one didn’t quite fall in the right place and managed to jam itself into another tree (three days later it is still in the same place – he is now praying for great winds to assist!)  We took some rope and pulleys yesterday but didn’t manage to shift it – even with both of us standing there, looking at it!!

We had decided that today would be a rest day as the chateau at Treveneuc was holding a ‘Fete des Jardins’ (Garden Festival).  We fancied having a wander around and thought that there might be some tools for sale – however, it was predominantly plants and flowers at that – Steve has absolutely no interest in that at all – the saving grace was a small ‘exposition’ (exhibition) hall which looks to have at one time been a chapel – the ceiling looked great so after taking some photos he came away happy!

Ceiling One
Ceiling Two

We now know that we will be returning to England on Wednesday afternoon – Le Havre to Portsmouth – unfortunately the beautiful weather that arrived with us back in France looks to be deserting us and the forecast is for gusty southerly winds – at least the crossing is only five and a half hours, hopefully I can manage that!!

 

 

Time Tee, Trolls and Wild Garlic

With surprisingly few aching body parts we began week two!  We had decided that my job for the week was to clear the excess dirt from the front of the property and Steve would, initially, reduce in height the large tree in front of the smaller building – ladder and concentration required so that he wouldn’t bring down the telephone line as well as the tree!  He’s getting quite good at this tree surgery business and didn’t even brush the telephone line once!

When Steve did his garden tool buying visit at Lidl he had bought a couple of collapsible garden bags so it was with one of them in hand that I began to remove the leaf litter, weeds and soil from in front of the smaller building.  This also created a need for yet another pile – one which I will eventually sift through and nick all the decent soil and mulch for my anticipated veggie plot! I found that I was doing quite a lot of trudging – emptying my bag onto my pile with the amount being able to be carried getting smaller and smaller, except for the times Steve was close by when I managed to overfill it so he could empty it for me! Me, devious?! No, never!  I did have to call upon his assistance on a few occasions as there were some rather large roots to deal with and he is such a big, strong man!! Steve was busy tree-reducing around the back and doing a fair bit of trudging of his own!

By Wednesday I had managed to clear the front of the ‘garage’ building and as we now had Steve’s bike trailer at the property it meant that we could go and get his chainsaw and, being the wonderful person that he is, he said I could have a wheelbarrow – less trudging, more digging or, in his words, whilst you’re marching, you’re not fighting.  This made Wednesday a light-work day!  Having  the trailer meant that we could pop into the Super U supermarket over the road from the garden centre and stock up with a few essentials – water, Kit-Kats.  Steve also wanted to look for a foot-pump for the tool store (caravan) tyres but he wasn’t prepared to pay 40 euros for one – not that he’s tight, just thrifty!  Whilst in Super U we spotted that they had wheelbarrows at reasonable prices, one a standard one with galvanised body and one plastic, four wheel tipper-truck type!  We decided to wander aimlessly around the store discussing the merits of both and on reaching the checkouts we had decided that the four wheel version was the way to go.  This would suit both our short term needs and in the future me trudging back and forward to my veggie patch which is going to be positioned at the far end of the wood!  I had envisioned him trying to balance a standard wheelbarrow on his trailer and failing so was relieved to see that the truck came in a box!  Once purchased and armed with a wealth of tokens for money off electrical tools (can’t work out why we got so many it should have been 1 token for 10 euros spent but we got at least 30!) we bumped into our friend, Emmanuel with his wife!  He said he had seen us on our bikes and she was impressed that we had cycled from St Quay, he then explained to her that we had bought a run-down property which Steve claims will be fixed in two months where he thinks it will take us two centuries, she farewelled us with a bonne courage (good luck).  Steve proceeded to attach the truck to the trailer and we headed across the road to the garden centre.  We made our familiar way to the chainsaw stand (not actually believing we were going to be purchasing!!), right past the exact same tipper-truck. Ah, was this going to be good news or not?  It was 20 euros more expensive than we had just paid – ooh I love a bargain!!  Steve chose his weapon of choice and we were delighted to see that this too was now actually 20 euros cheaper than when we first looked at it – two bargains in one day – the sun certainly shines on the righteous!!  His nick-name of Golden Bollocks still works!

IMG_1155
Steve’s trusty chariot

Apart from a few strange looks and double-takes we made our decidedly uneventful return to the property.  Steve was going to put my truck together but discovered that he didn’t have the right tools with him so we decided to have a wander around our boundary!  We had seen three-cornered garlic growing up the road and were hopeful that we would find some somewhere on our own land!  The pasture at the bottom (part of which will be my veggie plot) was covered with what looked like Lily of the Valley leaves, no three-cornered garlic anywhere.  Then, in an epiphany, after gazing into the stream, it came to me – it wasn’t Lily of the Valley, it was wild garlic or Ransoms, wasn’t it?  We picked a leaf and were immediately hit by the heady aroma – great, home grown produce without any hard work at all!  As we didn’t have a bag with us we decided that we would return later in the week to pick some and then decide what to do with it.

DSC02707
Tee’s tipper truck

Thursday saw a return to digging.  This time I had to clear the main building.  Steve had brought the correct tools to set up my truck so action stations!  He suggested I start at what he thought would be the harder end (less tired worker!)  Suddenly my day turned into an episode of Time Team!  I felt like an archaeologist uncovering some ancient ruins when I discovered the true corner of the building, which is at least 2ft further out than the existing corner!  All I needed was my small trowel and little brush and I would have been there for weeks – just as well I didn’t have them as I’m sure I would have received a bollocking from the boss!  If you’ve seen Time Team you know that they discover small fragments of past activity – well I found several parts of indicator lights and brake lights and I didn’t need Tony Robinson to tell me that at some point in history several cars had managed to reverse into the corner of the building.  I also uncovered a slow-worm but by the time I returned with the camera he had found himself a new hiding place!

At one point a little white van approached so I moved my truck out of the way but he slowed down, opened his window and started to talk!  I am ashamed to say that I struggled with this conversation – I don’t know why, perhaps it was because I was leaning into his vehicle and possibly flashing cleavage.  It turned out he was here to read some of the electric meters in the area and could I give him our surname so he could see if he had to read ours!  I explained that we didn’t have an electricity supply, pointing to the rundown building!  He then asked if we knew our neighbour’s name so he could see if he had to read theirs, I apologised saying I didn’t (I’m pretty sure his records wouldn’t show the first name that I did know!) as we had only bought the property last week.  He set off down the lane quite happily – maybe there was some cleavage on display after all?!!

My disappointment at my French interaction didn’t last long as a lady walked up the lane.  By this time Steve was busy removing the lean-to from the north end of the building, making lots of loud noise! I must have spent a good ten minutes in conversation (all in French), where she explained about herself, I said we were in St Quay and had electric bikes, the calmness and tranquility of Kerio, the lack of buses, etc etc!  I think I can talk this language a little bit!  She reappeared later, just as we were leaving, with her ‘old husband’.  I wonder if she dragged him out of the house to come and have a look at what those crazy English people are doing!

Friday was a continuation of Thursday, more digging and more roots for me.  Steve decided he would move the huge pile of old tiles from alongside the property.  He had tried this once before but with the tiles so wet he had changed jobs.  This time we had a plan – we have an old canvas bag which I suggested Steve wear as an apron, it would protect his overalls and hopefully soak up any excess water.  I was impressed with his improvisation – he used a bungee as a belt and not just the strap that I had assumed he would use! Unfortunately I didn’t manage to get a photo of his ensemble, but it lives large in my head!!  A lot of the tiles were covered in cob that had been washed away from the property so it was a difficult job, removing the cob – which also meant interrupting me to borrow my tools – however, every time he appeared to borrow something I used my feminine wiles, “while you’re here could you just remove this root here or that root there”.  He thought he would be taking a bit of a break, walking round to the front for the tools – more fool him!  By the time he managed to get the last root out we decided it was definitely time to pack up and head back to the boat – we had had a very successful week!

Starting to look loved
Here’s the front
Lean-toless

We had decided that Saturday and Sunday would be rest days but we were going to go to the property on the Saturday morning, do a couple of light jobs and stop for a weekly shop on the way back.  He lied to me!  Our easy jobs (now I think the word easy must mean something different to him) were to remove the electric fence around the paddock, clear the dirt off the granite bridge to the paddock and pick some wild garlic.  Of course I got the shovelling duties; I think he might be scared of the trolls living beneath the bridge!  The electric fence removal wasn’t as easy as he thought it was going to be as it had been attached to the trees with horse-shoe nails and the trees were growing around them.  The shovelling wasn’t easy either as there were, yet again, loads of roots!  Once Steve had finished as much of the fence removal as he felt like doing he kindly came and took over from me!  We didn’t see any trolls so assume they were out for the day, I hope they weren’t too cross when they returned and saw what a mess we had left them!  To finish off our easy day we picked our wild garlic and then headed back to St Quay Portrieux via Lidl.  I wasn’t really dressed for polite company so waited outside while Steve shopped! He’s a nice bloke really, isn’t he!!

Hidden Troll Bridge
No Longer Hidden Troll Bridge

One evening we were discussing things, which eventually turned to his pigs and he got me good and proper.  He said he thought he would end up with more than four pigs, to which I said, “you are not having any more than four”.  This resulted in a ‘fist-pump’ moment for him as I previously had said no more than two at a time – he was like a little kid, all excited that he had ‘bested’ me!

As for the wild garlic – well, so far, we have had some leaves in a salad, Steve wilted some and we made wild garlic bread – not following any recipe but improvised.  Served warm with lashings of butter it was absolutely gorgeous! Just such a shame that our oven will not colour the top – looks a bit anemic!

DSC02725
Anemic wild garlic bread

We have decided to try pickling some of the buds but we need to collect some more to fill the jar!  His intention is to see if they will turn out similar to capers – obviously with a slight (?) hint of garlic!  Pesto is also on the cards – pasta and pesto for tomorrow’s dinner and after eating it raw and wilted I just know it will be perfect in Sag Aloo in place of the spinach!

So, notable points this week:

  • 130 km cycled! I did wonder if the cycling would feel like a chore at the end of a working day however at this point it is a nice relaxing end, time to chill, look at the sights and it does wonders for my achy back!
  • Saved 40 euros!
  • Passed 3 week point in planning application! No contact so far – fingers crossed!
  • All donated tools (thanks Dad and Alex) relocated by bike or bike trailer
  • I’ve got a tipper truck
  • Steve’s got a chainsaw
  • I’m almost ambidextrous with some tools
  • I choose not to use a pickaxe
  • Steve has permission for four pigs (still under consideration, not that he knows that yet!)

 

 

The Hard Work Begins

Westerly winds gusting at 60-70 kmh and rain forecast wasn’t enough to prevent us heading to Kerio (to the west of St Quay!?!) on Wednesday morning.  Steve has been waiting months to be able to do something so nothing was going to stop us!  As my bike has a handy rack on the back I was tasked with transporting the tool bag whilst Steve donned a waterproof bag containing our overalls and boots.  It was relatively hard work getting there and I spent quite a bit of the time thinking how easy the trip home would be!  Fortunately there is a nice little downhill just before the property which allowed a little recovery time so I didn’t feel completely knackered before we’d even started!

On opening the front door, in a moment reminiscent of our first morning on Shearmyste, we found we had a puddle in the ‘lounge’ – to be expected here really, what with the holes in the roof – but it did cause a moment of “uh oh, do we have ourselves another ‘money pit’!!!”

Our first job was to move the ‘caravan’ out of the garage – easier said than done as it had flat tyres and the ground was quite wet due to the recent heavy rains!  Steve even got out the bike pump to see if he could inflate the tyres at all, but in the end good old brute force and strategic use of planks and blocks of wood got it where we wanted it – well, not our first choice of location but as far as we could manage!  Steve stabilised it whilst I took my nice new knife/saw thing (pressie from Stevie – 2 or 3 euros in Lidl!) and cut the first tree – the one in the doorway!  Work had finally begun!!

By the time I got back to Steve he had started putting up the caravan and we saw that it was in fact a trailer tent.  As our only plan for this is to be a tool store, not having any locks on any of the doors of the property, Steve decided to create our ‘summer residence’ by removing all the canvas sections and the fold-out sides.  Looking at the mildew-covered fabric, I couldn’t imagine us sleeping in it!!!

Spot the Stevie?!
Summer Residence here we come

Rather than standing around watching Steve play with the caravan, I was assigned the task of clearing out one of the lean-tos.  We decided where I would move the wood to and I set about creating a path, through the longish grass – back and forth, back and forth carrying various bits of wood.  Once Steve had finished with the caravan he started on chopping down trees (finally, his moment had arrived!)  As we are unable to remove the trees before we receive planning he had decided to ‘prune’ (or is it pollard?) them.  He has never claimed to be a gardener!

Front of main property before
After 1
After 2

We met some of our neighbours, four-fifths of the family across the road and then, whilst I was clearing some more wood, we met another – Sally Mander – he was slightly more of a surprise! I had just been thinking that there weren’t a lot of spiders about and moved yet another piece of wood and saw a bright yellow and black tail flick!  My first thought was ‘oh, is that a snake”, but then noticed his little legs.  Ooh an amphibian!!  I excitedly called Steve over and his first thought was, we’d better hope he’s not endangered as we know that endangered newts have delayed many a road-building project in the UK!  So before posting this we double-checked what he was and can confirm that he is a fire salamander – one of the most common salamanders in Europe!

Sally Mander
Our second neighbour

Ending the day on a high, the cycle back was actually better than I had expected – speeding along at 30-35km – and once back at the marina my darling husband offered to collect our shower bags whilst I waited ‘up top’ – it was low tide!!!  All clean and refreshed, first wine poured at 4.15 – whatever happened to 3 o’clock, wine o’clock!

Day two, weather much the same, but we could still move so off we went!  The priority job was to clear up some of the carnage created yesterday – cutting the chopped trees into manageable pieces and creating more piles – which involved me trudging back and forth, back and forth!  There was one tree that he had left yesterday as he had to climb on the lean-to’s roof to ensure when it fell it wouldn’t hit the neighbour’s property over the road!  This involved me saying, “be careful” numerous times and Steve climbing a very old, home-made (not by us!), rickety roof ladder on top of the (fortunately) sturdy lean-to!  Everything went according to plan, the tree even falling the way we wanted it to and Steve managed to get back down off the roof in one piece – success all round!  Yet another hairy bike ride back – hitting 40kmh in some places!

POET’S DAY (Piss off early, tomorrow’s Six Nations Saturday!)  The forecast was for slightly less wind, however I think we can confirm the forecast got that wrong – yet another struggle there!  Steve had decided that his job for the day was to remove the extremely unstable and potentially dangerous east-side lean-to and it appeared that my job would be more trudging!  However to spice things up I removed all the wheel trims from inside the main building (plenty of trudging involved with that too – but a lighter load!) and weeded the lounge floor! (yes I did say weeded!)  I had then decided I would remove the dead ivy from the north end wall of the main house and whilst I was doing that Steve managed to remove all the corrugated iron side panels, which made the structure even less stable so he pushed it over and down it went with a crash.  I did poke my head out to check it had been an intentional act and that he was ok!  He assured me he was fine, although a part of it had landed on our strategically placed caravan – but no harm done!  We have to keep reminding ourselves that to make an omelette you do need to break a few eggs!  Now it was down he could dismantle the rickety structure.  He did make a comment whilst carrying one of the hardwood uprights (they were 6” square x 8 ft tall) that he had decided it shouldn’t be called hardwood but heavywood. I am sorry to say that I didn’t even bother offering to help! After clearing the debris we decided on an early finish – Steve hoping for his 3 o’clock wine! Yep, achieved that! After our showers we both had muscles aching that we had forgotten we had ever had, but it’s ok Saturday is a rest day – well just shopping and baking and watching all three Six Nations matches!

Look, no lean-to
One Pile
More Piles

All in all, a great week’s work and we were only there three days.  I think we achieved more than expected but I can definitely say that the holiday is finally over!!