Month: March 2019

Time Tee, Trolls and Wild Garlic

With surprisingly few aching body parts we began week two!  We had decided that my job for the week was to clear the excess dirt from the front of the property and Steve would, initially, reduce in height the large tree in front of the smaller building – ladder and concentration required so that he wouldn’t bring down the telephone line as well as the tree!  He’s getting quite good at this tree surgery business and didn’t even brush the telephone line once!

When Steve did his garden tool buying visit at Lidl he had bought a couple of collapsible garden bags so it was with one of them in hand that I began to remove the leaf litter, weeds and soil from in front of the smaller building.  This also created a need for yet another pile – one which I will eventually sift through and nick all the decent soil and mulch for my anticipated veggie plot! I found that I was doing quite a lot of trudging – emptying my bag onto my pile with the amount being able to be carried getting smaller and smaller, except for the times Steve was close by when I managed to overfill it so he could empty it for me! Me, devious?! No, never!  I did have to call upon his assistance on a few occasions as there were some rather large roots to deal with and he is such a big, strong man!! Steve was busy tree-reducing around the back and doing a fair bit of trudging of his own!

By Wednesday I had managed to clear the front of the ‘garage’ building and as we now had Steve’s bike trailer at the property it meant that we could go and get his chainsaw and, being the wonderful person that he is, he said I could have a wheelbarrow – less trudging, more digging or, in his words, whilst you’re marching, you’re not fighting.  This made Wednesday a light-work day!  Having  the trailer meant that we could pop into the Super U supermarket over the road from the garden centre and stock up with a few essentials – water, Kit-Kats.  Steve also wanted to look for a foot-pump for the tool store (caravan) tyres but he wasn’t prepared to pay 40 euros for one – not that he’s tight, just thrifty!  Whilst in Super U we spotted that they had wheelbarrows at reasonable prices, one a standard one with galvanised body and one plastic, four wheel tipper-truck type!  We decided to wander aimlessly around the store discussing the merits of both and on reaching the checkouts we had decided that the four wheel version was the way to go.  This would suit both our short term needs and in the future me trudging back and forward to my veggie patch which is going to be positioned at the far end of the wood!  I had envisioned him trying to balance a standard wheelbarrow on his trailer and failing so was relieved to see that the truck came in a box!  Once purchased and armed with a wealth of tokens for money off electrical tools (can’t work out why we got so many it should have been 1 token for 10 euros spent but we got at least 30!) we bumped into our friend, Emmanuel with his wife!  He said he had seen us on our bikes and she was impressed that we had cycled from St Quay, he then explained to her that we had bought a run-down property which Steve claims will be fixed in two months where he thinks it will take us two centuries, she farewelled us with a bonne courage (good luck).  Steve proceeded to attach the truck to the trailer and we headed across the road to the garden centre.  We made our familiar way to the chainsaw stand (not actually believing we were going to be purchasing!!), right past the exact same tipper-truck. Ah, was this going to be good news or not?  It was 20 euros more expensive than we had just paid – ooh I love a bargain!!  Steve chose his weapon of choice and we were delighted to see that this too was now actually 20 euros cheaper than when we first looked at it – two bargains in one day – the sun certainly shines on the righteous!!  His nick-name of Golden Bollocks still works!

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Steve’s trusty chariot

Apart from a few strange looks and double-takes we made our decidedly uneventful return to the property.  Steve was going to put my truck together but discovered that he didn’t have the right tools with him so we decided to have a wander around our boundary!  We had seen three-cornered garlic growing up the road and were hopeful that we would find some somewhere on our own land!  The pasture at the bottom (part of which will be my veggie plot) was covered with what looked like Lily of the Valley leaves, no three-cornered garlic anywhere.  Then, in an epiphany, after gazing into the stream, it came to me – it wasn’t Lily of the Valley, it was wild garlic or Ransoms, wasn’t it?  We picked a leaf and were immediately hit by the heady aroma – great, home grown produce without any hard work at all!  As we didn’t have a bag with us we decided that we would return later in the week to pick some and then decide what to do with it.

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Tee’s tipper truck

Thursday saw a return to digging.  This time I had to clear the main building.  Steve had brought the correct tools to set up my truck so action stations!  He suggested I start at what he thought would be the harder end (less tired worker!)  Suddenly my day turned into an episode of Time Team!  I felt like an archaeologist uncovering some ancient ruins when I discovered the true corner of the building, which is at least 2ft further out than the existing corner!  All I needed was my small trowel and little brush and I would have been there for weeks – just as well I didn’t have them as I’m sure I would have received a bollocking from the boss!  If you’ve seen Time Team you know that they discover small fragments of past activity – well I found several parts of indicator lights and brake lights and I didn’t need Tony Robinson to tell me that at some point in history several cars had managed to reverse into the corner of the building.  I also uncovered a slow-worm but by the time I returned with the camera he had found himself a new hiding place!

At one point a little white van approached so I moved my truck out of the way but he slowed down, opened his window and started to talk!  I am ashamed to say that I struggled with this conversation – I don’t know why, perhaps it was because I was leaning into his vehicle and possibly flashing cleavage.  It turned out he was here to read some of the electric meters in the area and could I give him our surname so he could see if he had to read ours!  I explained that we didn’t have an electricity supply, pointing to the rundown building!  He then asked if we knew our neighbour’s name so he could see if he had to read theirs, I apologised saying I didn’t (I’m pretty sure his records wouldn’t show the first name that I did know!) as we had only bought the property last week.  He set off down the lane quite happily – maybe there was some cleavage on display after all?!!

My disappointment at my French interaction didn’t last long as a lady walked up the lane.  By this time Steve was busy removing the lean-to from the north end of the building, making lots of loud noise! I must have spent a good ten minutes in conversation (all in French), where she explained about herself, I said we were in St Quay and had electric bikes, the calmness and tranquility of Kerio, the lack of buses, etc etc!  I think I can talk this language a little bit!  She reappeared later, just as we were leaving, with her ‘old husband’.  I wonder if she dragged him out of the house to come and have a look at what those crazy English people are doing!

Friday was a continuation of Thursday, more digging and more roots for me.  Steve decided he would move the huge pile of old tiles from alongside the property.  He had tried this once before but with the tiles so wet he had changed jobs.  This time we had a plan – we have an old canvas bag which I suggested Steve wear as an apron, it would protect his overalls and hopefully soak up any excess water.  I was impressed with his improvisation – he used a bungee as a belt and not just the strap that I had assumed he would use! Unfortunately I didn’t manage to get a photo of his ensemble, but it lives large in my head!!  A lot of the tiles were covered in cob that had been washed away from the property so it was a difficult job, removing the cob – which also meant interrupting me to borrow my tools – however, every time he appeared to borrow something I used my feminine wiles, “while you’re here could you just remove this root here or that root there”.  He thought he would be taking a bit of a break, walking round to the front for the tools – more fool him!  By the time he managed to get the last root out we decided it was definitely time to pack up and head back to the boat – we had had a very successful week!

Starting to look loved
Here’s the front
Lean-toless

We had decided that Saturday and Sunday would be rest days but we were going to go to the property on the Saturday morning, do a couple of light jobs and stop for a weekly shop on the way back.  He lied to me!  Our easy jobs (now I think the word easy must mean something different to him) were to remove the electric fence around the paddock, clear the dirt off the granite bridge to the paddock and pick some wild garlic.  Of course I got the shovelling duties; I think he might be scared of the trolls living beneath the bridge!  The electric fence removal wasn’t as easy as he thought it was going to be as it had been attached to the trees with horse-shoe nails and the trees were growing around them.  The shovelling wasn’t easy either as there were, yet again, loads of roots!  Once Steve had finished as much of the fence removal as he felt like doing he kindly came and took over from me!  We didn’t see any trolls so assume they were out for the day, I hope they weren’t too cross when they returned and saw what a mess we had left them!  To finish off our easy day we picked our wild garlic and then headed back to St Quay Portrieux via Lidl.  I wasn’t really dressed for polite company so waited outside while Steve shopped! He’s a nice bloke really, isn’t he!!

Hidden Troll Bridge
No Longer Hidden Troll Bridge

One evening we were discussing things, which eventually turned to his pigs and he got me good and proper.  He said he thought he would end up with more than four pigs, to which I said, “you are not having any more than four”.  This resulted in a ‘fist-pump’ moment for him as I previously had said no more than two at a time – he was like a little kid, all excited that he had ‘bested’ me!

As for the wild garlic – well, so far, we have had some leaves in a salad, Steve wilted some and we made wild garlic bread – not following any recipe but improvised.  Served warm with lashings of butter it was absolutely gorgeous! Just such a shame that our oven will not colour the top – looks a bit anemic!

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Anemic wild garlic bread

We have decided to try pickling some of the buds but we need to collect some more to fill the jar!  His intention is to see if they will turn out similar to capers – obviously with a slight (?) hint of garlic!  Pesto is also on the cards – pasta and pesto for tomorrow’s dinner and after eating it raw and wilted I just know it will be perfect in Sag Aloo in place of the spinach!

So, notable points this week:

  • 130 km cycled! I did wonder if the cycling would feel like a chore at the end of a working day however at this point it is a nice relaxing end, time to chill, look at the sights and it does wonders for my achy back!
  • Saved 40 euros!
  • Passed 3 week point in planning application! No contact so far – fingers crossed!
  • All donated tools (thanks Dad and Alex) relocated by bike or bike trailer
  • I’ve got a tipper truck
  • Steve’s got a chainsaw
  • I’m almost ambidextrous with some tools
  • I choose not to use a pickaxe
  • Steve has permission for four pigs (still under consideration, not that he knows that yet!)

 

 

The Hard Work Begins

Westerly winds gusting at 60-70 kmh and rain forecast wasn’t enough to prevent us heading to Kerio (to the west of St Quay!?!) on Wednesday morning.  Steve has been waiting months to be able to do something so nothing was going to stop us!  As my bike has a handy rack on the back I was tasked with transporting the tool bag whilst Steve donned a waterproof bag containing our overalls and boots.  It was relatively hard work getting there and I spent quite a bit of the time thinking how easy the trip home would be!  Fortunately there is a nice little downhill just before the property which allowed a little recovery time so I didn’t feel completely knackered before we’d even started!

On opening the front door, in a moment reminiscent of our first morning on Shearmyste, we found we had a puddle in the ‘lounge’ – to be expected here really, what with the holes in the roof – but it did cause a moment of “uh oh, do we have ourselves another ‘money pit’!!!”

Our first job was to move the ‘caravan’ out of the garage – easier said than done as it had flat tyres and the ground was quite wet due to the recent heavy rains!  Steve even got out the bike pump to see if he could inflate the tyres at all, but in the end good old brute force and strategic use of planks and blocks of wood got it where we wanted it – well, not our first choice of location but as far as we could manage!  Steve stabilised it whilst I took my nice new knife/saw thing (pressie from Stevie – 2 or 3 euros in Lidl!) and cut the first tree – the one in the doorway!  Work had finally begun!!

By the time I got back to Steve he had started putting up the caravan and we saw that it was in fact a trailer tent.  As our only plan for this is to be a tool store, not having any locks on any of the doors of the property, Steve decided to create our ‘summer residence’ by removing all the canvas sections and the fold-out sides.  Looking at the mildew-covered fabric, I couldn’t imagine us sleeping in it!!!

Spot the Stevie?!
Summer Residence here we come

Rather than standing around watching Steve play with the caravan, I was assigned the task of clearing out one of the lean-tos.  We decided where I would move the wood to and I set about creating a path, through the longish grass – back and forth, back and forth carrying various bits of wood.  Once Steve had finished with the caravan he started on chopping down trees (finally, his moment had arrived!)  As we are unable to remove the trees before we receive planning he had decided to ‘prune’ (or is it pollard?) them.  He has never claimed to be a gardener!

Front of main property before
After 1
After 2

We met some of our neighbours, four-fifths of the family across the road and then, whilst I was clearing some more wood, we met another – Sally Mander – he was slightly more of a surprise! I had just been thinking that there weren’t a lot of spiders about and moved yet another piece of wood and saw a bright yellow and black tail flick!  My first thought was ‘oh, is that a snake”, but then noticed his little legs.  Ooh an amphibian!!  I excitedly called Steve over and his first thought was, we’d better hope he’s not endangered as we know that endangered newts have delayed many a road-building project in the UK!  So before posting this we double-checked what he was and can confirm that he is a fire salamander – one of the most common salamanders in Europe!

Sally Mander
Our second neighbour

Ending the day on a high, the cycle back was actually better than I had expected – speeding along at 30-35km – and once back at the marina my darling husband offered to collect our shower bags whilst I waited ‘up top’ – it was low tide!!!  All clean and refreshed, first wine poured at 4.15 – whatever happened to 3 o’clock, wine o’clock!

Day two, weather much the same, but we could still move so off we went!  The priority job was to clear up some of the carnage created yesterday – cutting the chopped trees into manageable pieces and creating more piles – which involved me trudging back and forth, back and forth!  There was one tree that he had left yesterday as he had to climb on the lean-to’s roof to ensure when it fell it wouldn’t hit the neighbour’s property over the road!  This involved me saying, “be careful” numerous times and Steve climbing a very old, home-made (not by us!), rickety roof ladder on top of the (fortunately) sturdy lean-to!  Everything went according to plan, the tree even falling the way we wanted it to and Steve managed to get back down off the roof in one piece – success all round!  Yet another hairy bike ride back – hitting 40kmh in some places!

POET’S DAY (Piss off early, tomorrow’s Six Nations Saturday!)  The forecast was for slightly less wind, however I think we can confirm the forecast got that wrong – yet another struggle there!  Steve had decided that his job for the day was to remove the extremely unstable and potentially dangerous east-side lean-to and it appeared that my job would be more trudging!  However to spice things up I removed all the wheel trims from inside the main building (plenty of trudging involved with that too – but a lighter load!) and weeded the lounge floor! (yes I did say weeded!)  I had then decided I would remove the dead ivy from the north end wall of the main house and whilst I was doing that Steve managed to remove all the corrugated iron side panels, which made the structure even less stable so he pushed it over and down it went with a crash.  I did poke my head out to check it had been an intentional act and that he was ok!  He assured me he was fine, although a part of it had landed on our strategically placed caravan – but no harm done!  We have to keep reminding ourselves that to make an omelette you do need to break a few eggs!  Now it was down he could dismantle the rickety structure.  He did make a comment whilst carrying one of the hardwood uprights (they were 6” square x 8 ft tall) that he had decided it shouldn’t be called hardwood but heavywood. I am sorry to say that I didn’t even bother offering to help! After clearing the debris we decided on an early finish – Steve hoping for his 3 o’clock wine! Yep, achieved that! After our showers we both had muscles aching that we had forgotten we had ever had, but it’s ok Saturday is a rest day – well just shopping and baking and watching all three Six Nations matches!

Look, no lean-to
One Pile
More Piles

All in all, a great week’s work and we were only there three days.  I think we achieved more than expected but I can definitely say that the holiday is finally over!!

 

It’s Official!!

It’s ours! After 200 days, we have finally signed on the electronic pad and the property belongs to us!

Last Wednesday we received the long awaited email from the notaire, asking us to contact her to fix our rendez-vous!  She also, very kindly, sent us the Acte so that we could translate and check it.  There were a couple of mistakes in it, the glaring error being us listed as Nationalite Francais!  We said we were available any day and that ideally we would like an appointment at 11am or 2.30pm (bus time dependent!)  She replied that she would like us to attend on Tuesday 12th March at 1400 hours, oh well not quite what we were hoping for but a bus would get us to Plouha at 1.20 and we would have time to get to the office.  So Tuesday morning arrives and I am feeling slightly sick! The weather wasn’t too bad, although the forecast was predicting gusts of 85kmh (40 knots) and rain!  I managed to force Steve to leave the boat in plenty of time (20 minutes to walk less than five minutes away!) and then panicked that the bus might not come!  However my fears were unfounded and Steve reckons I changed completely once I sat on the bus – no longer stressed out!!!

We arrived in Plouha and decided to have a walk around the shops before heading to the notaire’s office (even though they were all closed as it was lunchtime!)  We spent a few minutes looking at the books in their book exchange box and it started spitting with rain.  The entrance porch to the church looked like a good place to wait out the rain so we headed there.  Then the biblical storm arrived, huge gusts, heavy rain with some hailstones thrown in but no frogs, just a few Frenchmen hurrying along the street to the bar tabac!  Fortunately it started to ease off in plenty of time for us to get to the notaires – a sign, maybe?!

I introduced myself to the receptionist who commented, “ah, yes, the lady I have spoken to many times, I can put a face to the voice now”.  She thought we were very nice as Steve left his dripping umbrella in the entrance way and didn’t drip water all through the reception!

Of course we were a few minutes early so were safely installed in the waiting room when the vendors arrived.  Three people walked in, Monsieur et Madame and another Monsieur – handshakes all round but Steve and I were a bit confused as to who the other fella was – turns out he was just someone else with an appointment who lives in the same town as our vendors!!  Then another person turned up – I spotted his ‘Square Habitat’ bag straightaway so assumed he had come from there (the agency we had viewed the property through).  A couple of minutes later and a rather elegant gentleman appeared, introduced himself and led us through to his office.  We all filed nervously in and I was amazed at the large computer screen on the wall above the notaire’s head!  It looks like they are quite up-to-date (or maybe even cutting edge) as we would be signing electronically and not initialling each page as we had with the Compromis!  The appointment passed quickly and in very good humour, a few jokes here and there, especially when it came to any asbestos that may still be there – we may have misunderstood but both Steve and I think the estate agent said we could just bury it!  At this point the notaire covered his ears as if to say “I’m not listening”.  Once we finally got to the signing, Steve leaned across to me and said, “he must be from the estate agents”, referring to the additional person at the table (the one I had previously identified!!!) It is very difficult to stifle giggles in front of four French people (especially with the notaire directly in front of me!!)  Monsieur and Madame invited us for a drink with them, which, of course, we accepted!  Monsieur asked if we had a car and when we said no we didn’t but had taken the bus he said “well, you better come with us then!”  Steve getting into a Renault Kadjar (into a seat normally used by a 5ft lady) was hilarious – he ripped out the sun visor (well, moved it out of its slot!).  They were both very keen for him to put the seat back and lower it!  We were then transported to their home where we partook of a couple of glasses of bubbly and some Breton biscuits!  We thought we would be walking to the bus stop to make our way home (thank God, they live close to the bus route!) but Monsieur said, “no, I will drive you”.  What a wonderful couple, they have offered that if we have any problems at all, to give them a ring and they will help!  Given he is an ex-maire of the region, that sounds pretty good!!  Bollocks to Brexit, we have great new French friends!!!

I apologise if there are any typos in this but two glasses of bubbly with the French and then a glass of our own (pre-chilled, I had thought ahead!) followed by a glass of wine, my fingers might not be working as they should!!!

Two Weeks, Thursday

As we hadn’t heard anything from the notaire since we’d explained we wanted to waive the ‘clause suspensive’, Steve thought it would be a good idea for me to call her again.  To lessen my stress level he kindly chose to do a ‘bin-run’ whilst I made the call!  It went well, I felt that I got my points across – we’ve haven’t heard anything yet and are you still going to send us an email with the ‘acte de vente’ (so we could translate) and understood her response adequately. However, on ending the call and thinking about how to translate what she had just told me to Steve, I realised that perhaps I hadn’t understood much at all.  The only things I could remember her saying were ‘deux semaines’ (two weeks) and ‘jeudi’ (Thursday).  As is normal after one of my phone calls, Steve’s initial question is “Success?”  This time I answered, “Yes, I made the call, spoke to her and she said something about two weeks and Thursday!” We decided that maybe she said we would receive an email in two weeks for an appointment on the Thursday! Sounded like wishful thinking to me!!

Two weeks was arriving quickly and as we still hadn’t received an email (constant checking of my junk mail folder, just in case), it was inevitable that I had to call her again.  I chose to call on the Monday whilst Steve nipped to the market.  However, all I received was an answer-machine message advising that the office was closed on Mondays – oops, I could have gone to the market with him!  So Tuesday morning and I tried again.  The really friendly, bubbly receptionist informed me that our notaire was on annual leave and would be back next week. Oh, perhaps that was what she was telling me before – I am going on two weeks leave from Thursday? (To be honest, we will never know!!)  I double-checked that she would be back in the office on Tuesday and said I would call back then!

Tuesday morning and while Steve is away having a shower I call again.  This time the receptionist tries to put me through but the notaire is not in her office, if I ring back after 10.15 she should be available.  We had decided to go to the mairie and as that shuts at 12, we thought we might as well go there and, as we have one of these new-fangled mobile phone things, I could make the call from anywhere!!  We arrived at Pleguien, had a coffee and coke at the bar/tabac and then in the beautiful sunshine outside the mairie I made the call.  This time I didn’t even have to give my name – is my accent that bad?!  I started off with my traditional “nous n’avons rien entendu?” (We haven’t heard anything?) and the notaire advised that she had been on leave, she was waiting for something from Cerfa (now this was a word I recognised as the planning forms have  Cerfa on them – so assume she was waiting for some sort of form!) and she would be in touch “plus vite que possible” (as soon as possible)!  Amazing I think I understood that, I again checked that she would email us and she confirmed that, yes as already discussed, she would!  I came off the phone feeling quite pleased with the conversation and it was with a spring in my step that we headed in to the mairie!!  However, nearly a week later, nous n’avons rien entendu!!

GO AND SEE THE ARCHITECT!

We made it to three weeks and one day (Friday 15th Feb) before an email from the mairie!  We had agreed to email communication on the permis application thinking this would avoid any miscommunication.  Unfortunately all the email said was: “please call the mairie”!  So with my usual amount of trepidation I made the call.  The lovely girl there advised that there were some items missing from our application and suggested that we contact “l’architecte conseil”.  I told her that we had already had an appointment with the architect but she repeated “make an appointment, they will help with the form” – reading between the lines we’re pretty sure she was saying, “just listen to me and do it!”  L’architecte conseil is only available every other Friday so it was back on the phone to make an appointment – we were very fortunate and were able to get one for the following week.

There followed a few days of wondering just how badly we had messed up! Then on Tuesday (19th) Marina Trevor knocked on the boat to say that the post-lady would be bringing us a recorded delivery the following day at about 10.30.  More trepidation!!  I was extremely worried that it might be the whole pack – all four dossiers! – being returned – how embarrassing would that be in front of the marina staff!

At 10.30 on Wednesday morning Steve headed up to the office and waited – (outside)!  The post lady was pleased to see him and Steve, in turn, was pleased to see it was just a letter!  So out came the computer so I could type it out and translate it – not wanting any ambiguity in my own translation! (I will return to this later!)

So, what was wrong with our form?

  • The biggest and first point was we had used the wrong form – this caused a bit of a giggle as we had spent a fair amount of time trying to work out which form we needed with me deciding that we had probably used the wrong one – don’t have to say it, do I? Yes, I do – “told you so Stevie”!! It turns out that the form we should have used was far simpler!
  • The tax section – we had calculated the tax applicable to the whole building, however they only required the extra.
  • The mass plan – we had missed off the services (not knowing where they were!) and the trees we want to remove.
  • The notice describing the property – they wanted to know in simple terms what we were planning to do to the existing buildings and what materials and colours we were going to use. We thought this was what we had provided?
  • The facades and roof plan needed dimensions and a verifiable scale. However, the dimensions were there and so was the scale?
  • Thermal regulations document (RT2012) – We had not supplied this as everything we had read put the property in a classification that shouldn’t have required it, because of the historic nature of the building.

And that was it!!

Thursday was homework day where we tried to pre-empt what we thought we had done wrong so at least we could show the architect that we had been good children and not just sitting patiently on the naughty step awaiting our detention!  Steve then went back to his old engineering days in a bid to calculate the U value of the property (the thermal performance).  He even ended up reading a 200 page paper on the thermal performance of cob!

As Friday is market day in Lanvollon we decided to leave a little early for our appointment so we could have a wander around.  We left far too much time as it was quite a small one!  The seven market stalls (three fruit and veg, one butcher, one fish-man, a lady selling sweets and the obligatory crepe van) took about five minutes to peruse! However, I was amazed at the size of the carrots – they were huge!

As we had a bit of time to kill, we thought we would pop into the water department and see if they could show us where the water supply ran.  Unfortunately the chap on reception was unable to tell us and the person who could was not in the office but he would get them to ring us – so far we’re still waiting!  Perhaps they’ve realised how useless I am on the phone and have decided not to bother!

Finally it was 11.30 and we were met by two architecte ladies and shown to a meeting room. Two architects, neither speaking much English and two English with no architectural knowledge and basic French – this could be quite interesting! After pleasantries were exchanged it was down to business.  Fortunately they had the same list of missing items as us and we started to go through them.

  • Point one – the form. We showed them we had printed out the correct form now – yes, check, smiles all round. (This is going well!)
  • The tax form – she explained exactly how we should have filled it in – easy!
  • Point two – the mass plan. We had submitted this in five parts, some being extremely detailed, thanks to Alex.  This was far too detailed for them. They explained exactly what they wanted and even though we didn’t know where the services would be going we had to indicate where we would like them.  They advised that if we were to talk to the mairie, they should be able to tell us about the electricity as the vendor of the property is organising the extension to the network.  It was pointed out that Steve’s drawings did not match the main (Cadastral) plan – which shows two buildings of the same dimensions up against the road.  Steve explained that his drawings were right (at least in that part!!) to which they responded, with a shrug, the Cadastral is often wrong.  Steve had used a scale of 1:166 for his plan but their scale rule didn’t do that, so a complete re-draw was on the cards.
  • Point three – the cut plan. This is a slice of the terrain showing varying levels to a datum point.  They looked over our original submission and couldn’t initially figure out why it had been queried; finally deciding it was because Steve’s measurement on one of the dimensions was 1mm out.  A slight “humble pie” look on that one. Another re-draw for Stevie!
  • Point four – the notice. We had rewritten a description providing as much information as we could.  However, this was not what was required.  They wanted SIMPLE.  What we were going to do to the original buildings and what we were building and, as it is a heritage patrimoine, the materials and colours to be used.  Again, not too bad, just a simplification – a job for me!
  • Point five – the facades and roof. Again too detailed and we had put all dimensions on – they only wanted dimensions of the new items – doors, windows, extension.  This is when things got a little “interesting” and communication faltered slightly.  What did we do wrong:
    • the windows we had proposed for the ground floor did not match what the architect feels is correct for the building – even though the two existing windows are square, this type of building needs vertical rectangular windows. We tried to say we were matching the existing (as had been advised in our first meeting) but were told, no – vertical rectangle. Ok.
    • The large gable end window which we had discussed in great detail in our first meeting to ensure that the design met the views of the architect. However she had seemed to have forgotten that and both said a triangular window in that gable end would not be acceptable.  We could however have an off-set vertical rectangular window (which to us looks far worse than the triangular one) so we have now decided to have a darker bedroom – not such a bad thing as there is now very little chance of me being woken by early morning sun!!
    • The glazed wall side of the extension – to get the angle of the sticky out roof bit to match the main property roof we had filled the whole gap with a pitched roof. However, the architect only wanted a pitched roof over the door opening, therefore reducing the ridge height – no arguments from us, we just pressed the ‘I believe’ button! More work for Alex!!
  • Point six – RT2012. This caused some debate between them.  To be able to submit the first RT2012 form directly from the internet without the input of a thermal specialist the size of extension needed to be less than 50 sqm.  This dimension is not the internal but the walls and roof surface area dimension.  This is when they had to revisit, in their own minds, whether the garage was part of the extension or an original habitation.  If it was part of the extension we would have to contact a specialist for a report.  Steve’s ‘back of a fag packet’ calculation of existing materials showed that the extension, including the need to retain the historic nature of the building, would not comply with the current regulations.  At this point, they had a little tete-a-tete and reached the conclusion that the garage was part of the original and therefore we only needed the RT2012 for the 9.5 sqm extension.  Fortunately I was paying a bit of attention and asked if that then meant that what we had put on the tax form was no longer correct?  So we revisited the tax form and they agreed that the only part we needed to class as new is the extension. Sorted!  This does make us think that perhaps a full planning application shouldn’t have been necessary after all instead just a declaration prealable (works declaration) as the size is now less than 20 sqm? Oh well, it has kept us busy this winter!!

And with that we were finished, smiles and handshakes all round and us hopeful that we knew exactly what we needed and could resubmit quickly!

As I have taken to keeping a tape measure in my bike bag we decided to drop by the property on our way home and take exact measurements from the road to the property so that the mass plan reflected what is actually on the ground and not just on the Cadastral plan.  This took a bit of prodding with a metal pole to find the edge of the road – but we got there in the end!

That evening we contacted our favourite architect (Alex) and asked if he was willing to give us a hand again! Fortunately he loves his mummy and agreed to help.  Saturday morning, I set to work rewriting the notice and completing the form whilst Steve got his pencils out again.  As I had managed to get the easy jobs it was my responsibility to investigate and submit the RT2012 form.  It was remarkably easy – hope that doesn’t mean I’ve done something wrong!  Steve had decided to resubmit the cut plan as the roof line had changed and he could get his measurement right.  I was a bit unsure as I didn’t want to provide something that hadn’t been requested, but bowed to his better judgment!

The only detail we needed to clarify was where the electric is likely to be run to – so a visit to the mairie was in order.  Sunny, bright Tuesday morning, a visit to the bar/tabac for a coffee and coke, a chase-up call to the notaire (ooh, there’s a story I haven’t told yet!) and into the office.  With help from the lovely Stephanie, we were provided with a pretty picture of our electrical extension to the network – the final piece required!  Wednesday morning was spent putting the packs together, complete carnage in the saloon – no one would ever believe I used to be a well organised, efficient secretary, but I suppose all the offices I have worked in were larger with ample workspace – so there’s my excuse!

Being the pernickety person I am I wanted to check once again – with the original letter – that we had provided everything.  On reading through I discovered that we did in fact need to resubmit the cut plan and the only reason I thought we didn’t was because when I had typed out the letter to translate I had missed the whole section!  Perhaps my attention to detail is slipping!! I then had one of my blonde moments deciding that the mayor’s office was closed on a Wednesday afternoon and not checking as I would normally do!  This meant we didn’t take advantage of the perfect weather to trundle to Pleguien – that was a job for Thursday!

Thursday morning – grey, drab, slightly damp and windy and, for reasons known only to Mother Nature, Steve got the task and headed off alone – how I wish I was a fly on the wall during that meeting!  By the sounds of things though it went well – Stephanie having a wonderful booklet showing exactly what was required and checking it off (if only we had spoken to her before we started our application!)  So, within a week of getting the notification, we had corrected all the information, cycled 70 km (Steve anyway – only 50 for me!) and are now back to waiting!!

In a nutshell we got the wrong form, one of the drawings was to the wrong scale, a couple of measurements were missing, our drawings were too detailed and they wanted to redesign – not too bad was it!!!